Seth: Okay, picture me in college. Big fish in a small pond? Or small fish in a big pond?
Ryan: Well, I don't know. I never really pictured you living in a pond.

Seth: Okay, that's a lot of genitalia in my pool.

Seth: Our noses grazed. And it was like the most sexually charged nose-graze in the history of nose grazes. It's essentially nose-humping, is what it is.

Seth: Oy humbug.

Seth: Right on. I'm hoping for a little Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, maybe Kate Bosworth myself. [Summer hits him] Ow! What? It's okay for you to pine over Legolas?
Summer: Yeah, he's an elf. He saved Middle-Earth. That is a huge part of European history.

Seth: Ryan got a car? Really? I've been waiting 3 years for a car! I'm supposed to be the spoiled one.

Seth: Ryan, my girlfriend went out with a girl. There's only one thing to do to make it okay.
Zach: You're gonna hook up with a guy?

Seth: Ryan, that's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing, or... laughter.
Ryan: That's because no one who lived there is as funny as you.
Seth: So, we finally agree I'm the funny one. Well, look at that! Looks like we all learned some valuable lessons this Thanksgiving.

Seth: Ryan, would you please take the minutes?
Ryan: Uh, Seth, it's just us.
Seth: Yeah, uh-huh. Write that down.

Seth: Separate seats, you guys. There's no sex in the Champagne Room.

Seth: She said that about me? That she thinks I'm the funniest guy ever?
Danny: Yes. You and some dude named Captain Oats. Who the hell is Captain Oats?

Seth: So what kind of dancing are we talking about? A little Jazz Step, a little Soft Shoe?
Mary Sue: Actually, it's not quite a dance contest.
Seth: It isn't?
Mary Sue: No.
Ryan: She's got whipped cream, Seth.
Seth: Yeah, I know. Maybe she's... baking a cake.
Mary Sue: See, I'm gonna cover myself with whipped cream, and you're gonna lick it all off and eat a cherry out of my mouth before any of the other contestants.
Seth: Did she say "cherry"?
Mary Sue: If we win, it would mean so much to my grandma. Not having to worry about my college loans. With all the money she spends on medication.
Seth: Yeah. It's for Grandma.

Seth: So what's the GP, RA?
Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.
Seth: Game plan, Ryan Atwood.
Ryan: You're just using initials now?
Seth: Yeah. They save time.
Ryan: Well, not if you have to translate.
Seth: GP.
Ryan: Game Plan?
Seth: Good Point.

Seth: So when you lost your virginity, I was playing Magic the Gathering.
Ryan: You still play Magic.
Seth: Yeah, but not as much.

Seth: So where we going?
Ryan: Mexico.
Seth: Perfect. I need Chiclets.