Seth: Darryl?!
Darryl: Hey, Seth! How's the earthquake treating you?
Seth: Ah... not too well. I need to ask for your help.
Darryl: Sure... but how can I help you?
Seth: Well, I'm guessing you don't have a... like a car or walkie-talkie or...
Darryl: This shopping cart is my only worldly possession.
Seth: Ok, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you for it.
Darryl: Sorry! No way! I... I'll give you my pants.
Seth: No. No. They look better on you. Listen... it has a flat tire and possibly a broken axle but it's a $70,000 dollar car and it's all yours in exchange for the cart.
Darryl: Sweet!

Seth: Did I say "slept in a tent"? What I mean to say is that they repented for Lent.

Seth: Do I force a confrontation or do I just continue to be whiny and passive-aggressive until she realizes what a catch I am?

Seth: Do you know what I dream about when I dream about Thanksgiving, which is a lot? I dream that I eat so much deliciousness that all the blood rushes to my stomach and I pass out right at the table. Please do not deny me that.
Ryan: Whoa, now that's just weird.

Seth: Do you want to play Grand Theft Auto? It's pretty cool. You can like, steal cars and... not that that's cool. Or uncool. I don't know... um...

Seth: Dude, I cannot believe you live in the penthouse, man. This place is ridonculous.
Marissa: Yeah, it's always been my fantasy to live in a hotel. Like Eloise.

Seth: Eureka, Ryan -- I can't believe I just said "Eureka" -- that's it!

Seth: Every year some big water polo player ends up peeing in one of my shoes... Nah, I'm just kidding. He pees in both of them.

Seth: God! Dad, those eyebrows are out of control.
Sandy: It's a sign of power, you know.
Seth: Well, then you must be the most powerful man in the world.
Sandy: Well, brace yourself, son. It's genetic.

Seth: He doesn't exactly seem overburdened with possessions. Unless that bag of his is like Mary Poppins'... I wish I'd never made that reference.

Seth: Her with a tattoo, you with a wristband. That's like the ultimate wrong-side-of-the-tracks love story. Seriously, you are the Sid to her Nancy, the Kurt to her Courtney. The 50 Cent to Mrs. Cent.

Seth: Hey, Che.
Che: Seth! Hey, you look...
Seth: Not good. I know. So, that thing you said about the animus?
Che: I was right, wasn't I? See, the flesh lies, but the aura never does.

Seth: Holy '80s teen comedy plot!

Seth: How is it that Ryan and Marissa are now the functional couple?
Summer: Oh, my God, we cannot be more annoying than Ryan and Marissa. We're monsters.
Seth: I like monsters.

Seth: How was Pittsburgh?
Anna: It was good to be home.
Seth: Yeah. Pittsburgh's also the home of Andy Warhol, Mr. Rogers and ketchup. You can't compete with that.