Lisbon: You have good kids.
Jack Tanner: Yeah, I do.
Lisbon: You're all they have.
Jack Tanner: Yeah, I know.
Lisbon: Be good to them.
Jack Tanner: I am good to them.
Lisbon: My father was a good man, just like you are. And after my mother died... he was a self-pitying drunk, just like you are. He killed himself. Damn near killed me and my brothers too. Get some help. Your kids deserve it. So do you.

Lisbon: You know what made me feel better? Punching you in the nose.
Jane: [smiles] Glad to be of service.

Lisbon: You threw a cat, all right. What valuable insight did you glean as a result?
Jane: Nothing. It's a little disappointing.
Lisbon: Well, maybe, just maybe, this case is exactly what it looks like. Bitter unsubs with a grudge against the fat cats.
Jane: Nice drive though.
Lisbon: Nice three hour drive.

Lisbon: You're isolating yourself. You're pulling away from us, from me and the team. You are. You are and it's not good. What's going on?
Jane: Anybody that gets close to me, bad things happen to them.
Lisbon: A: That's not true, and B: Even if that were true, I'm a cop. It's our job to be in harm's way.
Jane: You're not listening to me.
Lisbon: We're family. What you're doing is a kind of betrayal, a surrender, a defeat. You're letting Red John win.
Jane: Oh, please. Please. Really? Okay, enough. No more pulling away. Give me a hug.
Lisbon: You don't mean it. I can tell.
Jane: What do you mean you can tell. You can't tell. I don't mean it, but you can't tell that I don't. You're guessing!
Lisbon: Yes, I can tell.
Jane: How?
Lisbon: I don't know. I can tell when you're lying now.
Jane: No you can't tell!
Lisbon: I can too!
Jane: That's nonsense. You're lying. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Lisbon: You're leaving?
Jane: Well, frankly if I can't use this job to seek some kind of personal revenge then, uh, there's not a whole lot here for me. I don't make anything better. I can't bring dead people back to life. What good do we do? We drive around California visiting unhappy people.
Grace: We're fighting evil and injustice.
Jane: And how's that going? Any progress lately?
Cho: We put bad guys away where they can't hurt people. That's good enough.
Jane: Nah. I was doing more good as a psychic. I was giving people hope at least. False hope, but hope anyway.
Lisbon: You're right. Best you leave. That way you can go back to being a full-time fraud and we can continue our useless jobs in peace.

Lisbon: You're looking a little creaky.
Jane: Yeah, a cattle prod will do that to you.
Lisbon: The doctor says there's no lasting effects.
Jane: Well, that doctor should try it himself sometime. [watches as Lisbon smiles] That was a big smile.
Lisbon: Of course I'm glad you're back. I'm also glad we solved one without you.
Jane: You were kidnapped and delivered to me. That counts as solving one?
Lisbon: Hightower and the team found us.
Jane: But if I hadn't held off Rachel, they would have found us dead in a burned out house.
Lisbon: Oh, you held off Rachel?
Jane: Yes.
Lisbon: Where's my apple?
Jane: Your what?
Lisbon: My apple. I asked you to get me an apple.
Jane: I come through the valley of death and all you can think about is your stomach. A piece of fruit.
Lisbon: That's right.
Jane: An apple.
Lisbon: Yes.
Jane: That's just plain selfish.
Lisbon: Selfish. Me: selfish.
Jane: Yes, it is. You're on my couch. I'm trying to have a cup of tea. Have you finished? You called me creaky. I've been cattle prodded all week. I just want to have a rest and a cup of tea and a little sleep.
Lisbon: [sigh] Oh, I wish I had a cattle prod.

Lisbon: You're losing your touch. You didn't know it was her.
Jane: Don't be ridiculous. The trick worked exactly as I intended. It didn't matter which one I thought it was. That's how a good trick works.
Lisbon: [smiles] You would say that, wouldn't you?

Lorelai: And you'll need to bring him a gift. To show your respect for him.
Jane: What kind of gift?
Lorelai: Teresa Lisbon's dead body would be the perfect thing.

Lorelai: Hello Patrick.
Jane: Lorelai.
Lorelai: Is it just us or are your friends listening?
Jane: Just us, we're alone. (Lisbon is actually listening, but Jane doesn't know)
Lorelai: Good. Much nicer that way.
Jane: Sorry I didn't come to visit you sooner, I've been a little busy with a case.
Lorelai: It's okay. I've been enjoying the peace and quiet.
Jane: You need anything?
Lorelai: I'm fine. Nevermind about me, how are you? Back to solving crimes, huh?
Jane: Yes.
Lorelai: Why do you bother? You're trying to hold back the tide with a broom. I think you do it to be close to Teresa Lisbon. I think you're a little bit in love with her.
Jane: I-I do it to... pass the time.

Lorelai: I do what Red John tells me to do.
Jane: What?
Lorelai: Your freedom, our night together. That was a gift from him. He can harm me if you'd like.
Jane: No, I don't wanna hurt you. I've given up, he knows that. What does he want from me?
Lorelai: He doesn't want anything from you. After all these years, he's coming to see you as an old comrade rather than an enemy. He hopes you'll come to feel the same way.
Jane: A comrade.
Lorelai: Patrick, look at yourself. You need a new life. He can give that to you.
Jane: You have to leave.
Lorelai: He's offering the hand of friendship, if you refuse him, he'll be upset. Anyone would-
Jane: Get out.
Lorelai: You know where to find me.

Maddy: What are you, a moron? My dad just died.
Jane: Yes. My condolences. It happens. You'll learn to live with it. Not for, uh, a while, but in the end, you will.
Maddy: Who are you?
Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm the man that will find out who it was that killed your father and have him or her or them put in a prison cell if you'll talk to me.

Marshall Winston: CBI! CBI! Like that's supposed to mean something!
Cho: Yeah, we do need better brand awareness.

Matt Etienne: The Casino's on the Nevada side of the resort and offers full-service gaming. We recently spent ten million upgrading the facilities to improve the experience.
Jane: They use the same techniques in state-of-the-art animal husbandry to make cows and sheep feel more comfortable.
Matt Etienne: Really?
Jane: Dim lights, soft music, a maze of passages that lead you back to the pens, or in this case the slots.
Matt Etienne: Don't hold back. Speak your mind.
Jane: There's no clocks or windows anywhere, so there's no passage of time. Low priced alcohol is poured down you by attractive young women. Oxygen is pumped into the place to make you stay awake and the constant symphony of bells and sirens that make it seem like someone's winning all the time.
Matt Etienne: But someone is always winning. You see, our machines are carefully designed to let every gambler have a taste of victory. Just enough to keep them pumping their money into the machines and on to the table. So what's your point?
Jane: Oh, no point. I love it.

Melba Walker Shannon: [To Wilson] These people will be leaving now.
Jane: I like the way you say that. Melba-like-the-toast. So tough and command. Let me tell you something. We are state law enforcement. And we leave when we want to leave.
Lisbon: Thanks for your time.
Jane: She wants to leave. See ya.

Meredith: [about the attack against CBI agents[ Special Agent Minelli, our condolences. Would you describe your feelings at this terrible time?
Minelli: Wow, Meredith. That's-you media guys, that's just... You know, for eight years I've put up with the idiotic questions of the media and I've never said squat. But today, I must tell you, Meredith, you've really set a new standard in horse-assery. You people have no concept of what we do. We go into dark, horrible places. Alone and afraid. And we do it with no money, broken-down vehicles, with computers that have more viruses than a $10 whore. How? Good people, and I've lost three good people today and a fourth who is in critical condition, and you ask me how I'm feeling. I'm feeling sad, you moron. Any other questions?