Lisbon: I don't think you should be talking to Lorelai. You're too close.
Jane: Well I disagree.
Lisbon: I could put a stop to this right now. One word to Bertram-
Jane: Please don't do that. I know I can turn her. I know I can. And I promise you I will be careful.
Lisbon: Okay. (Jane touches Lisbon on the shoulder)
Jane: Thank you.

Lisbon: I have a bad feeling about this.
Jane: Well you've been shot. You're bound to have a gloomy outlook. Ignore your feelings.

Lisbon: I have to be back here right after lunch.
Jane: Oh?
Lisbon: Management meeting.
Jane: Wainwright. He has too much time on his hands. [dials a number on his phone] Agent Wainwright. Patrick Jane. Hi, I just wanted to let you know that Agent Lisbon is needed urgently in the field, and as important as your seminar is, she's not going to be able to attend. Okay. Thank you. Bye bye. He said he's fine. See? Simple as that.
Lisbon: Thanks. Did it ever occur to you that I might actually want to go to the meeting.
Jane: No, it didn't. Do you?
Lisbon: No, but it's the principle.

Lisbon: I hope you got something useful for all the trouble you caused.
Jane: Yes, I did. The story of the mad axeman Zachariah, who lives in these here woods.
Lisbon: Ah, Z.
Jane: Yes, Z. I would have gotten more, but you came back too quickly.
Lisbon: Reality check. I'm your supervising agent. I'm not your decoy.

Lisbon: I know. I can read your mind.
Jane: Oh, you can?
Lisbon: You're thinking Mr. Skelling is innocent and we should release him. [Calls out to Cho] Cho.
Jane: That's amazing. That's exactly what I was thinking. How do you do that? Let me try. You're thinking, Jane is right, the man is innocent, we should let him go.
Lisbon: No. I think you want him to be innocent because his guilt would be too simple. He has a motive, opportunity and no alibi.
Jane: Yeah.

Lisbon: I've got six open cases. I'm testifying in two more. I don't have time...
Dr.Carmen: [interrupting] It's not as if you have anything to talk about. (Starts reading her file) Mom dead when you were 12. Three younger brothers. Abusive, alcoholic dad. Now dead also.
Lisbon: It doesn't say abusive.
Dr.Carmen: [looks at her for a few seconds] But he was. Yes.
Lisbon: This coffee tastes like crap. Seriously.

Lisbon: If it wasn't him, then who was it? And if you say a man who likes red hair and silver duct tape, I'll scream.
Patrick: I don't want you to scream.

Lisbon: Is anything coming back to you?
Jane: Kids prefer cheese over fried green spinach.
Lisbon: [laughs] Come again?
Jane: It's an acronym for the seven levels of taxonomy: kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species.
Lisbon: Impressive.
Jane: I can also name the geological time periods, the worlds longest rivers by size, and the complete works of Shakespeare in chronological order.
Lisbon: So the memory palace is intact?
Jane: I told you about the memory palace?
Lisbon: We're friends.

Lisbon: Is this the only .38 in your possession?
[Jane grabs Presiado's wrist]
Presiado: Yes it is. [To Jane] And if you try to hold my hand again I'm gonna tear your arm off and beat you unconscious with it. Get me?
Jane: Got you.

Lisbon: It's like a bad date. I wish these bozos would just vanish.

Lisbon: It's okay. She's gone.
Jane: Who's gone?
Lisbon: Oh please, your guilty conscience is obvious and well deserved.
Jane: Man. Justice can be a harsh mistress.

Lisbon: Jane? How are you feeling?
Jane: Excellent, I think.
Lisbon: It's good to see you breathing.
Jane: It's good to see you period.
Lisbon: We are doing everything we can to find your attacker. You didn't happen to see a face, did you?
Jane: No... Not that I can remember.
Lisbon: What's the last thing you do remember?
Jane: [He makes her come closer.]Are we sleeping together?
Lisbon: Excuse me?! [backs off quickly.]
Jane: Well, you're a cop, that's obvious. But you're not judging me like a suspect, and I can't see any other reason for a police officer to come to my bed side [laughs], unless we're sleeping together.
Lisbon: You don't ... know who I am.
Jane: Please don't take it personnaly, I'm sure you're quite memorable. I just... I've been through a lot, apparently.
Lisbon: No. We are not sleeping together.
Jane: We're working toward it, right? So I haven't missed anything. [She looks lost.] So, what's your name?
Lisbon: [smiles] Are you putting me on?
Jane: I wish I was.
Lisbon: I'm Teresa Lisbon, I'm with the CBI. I'm a homicide detective. You're my consultant.
Jane: I catch bad guys, well that sounds like fun! I always wanted to put my psychic gifts against criminals.
Lisbon: You're not... a psychic.

Lisbon: Jessie Skelling?
Jessie Skelling: No, I'm Cindy Crawford. Jessie's on vacation in Mexico.

Lisbon: Jill Rubenstein, what's your connection with her?
Fricke: The doctor lady? I met her in the parking lot and asked her for help.
Lisbon: A complete stranger takes you to her room, treats your wound and then has sexual intercourse with you?
Fricke: What can I say? The Hippocratic oath is a beautiful thing.

Lisbon: Just follow procedure. Have fun!
Jane: Where is the fun in that?