The Golden Girls quotes
465 total quotesSophia: Rose is my daughter now. And you, Dorothy, are the biggest disappointment to hit the streets since the AMC Pacer!
Sophia: Rose, I found my lucky handkerchief.
Rose: Where was it?
Sophia: It was in my bra.
Rose: What was it doing in your bra?
Sophia: I was blowing my breasts, Rose.
Rose: Where was it?
Sophia: It was in my bra.
Rose: What was it doing in your bra?
Sophia: I was blowing my breasts, Rose.
Sophia: Was that a plumber?
Dorothy: No, Ma, it was a little girl selling Girl Scout toilets.
Dorothy: No, Ma, it was a little girl selling Girl Scout toilets.
Sophia: We're out of pepperoni.
Dorothy: [fake gasps] Did you call Dan Rather?
Dorothy: [fake gasps] Did you call Dan Rather?
Sophia: When I thought I was moving, I was going to give each one of you a gift, but I want you to have them anyway. [hands a wrapped package to each of the girls]
Blanche: Why Sophia, how sweet!
Rose: Oh honey, you shouldn't have!
Dorothy: [opening her package] Oh Ma, this is so lovely... and so familiar... this is mine. I thought the cleaner lost it.
Sophia: I told you the cleaner lost it. I took it. I needed something to go with my black sweater.
Rose: [examining the sweater in her package] This is my black sweater!
Sophia: I know. It goes great with...
Blanche: ...my pearls.
Sophia: Well, enjoy and be healthy! [leaves]
Blanche: Why Sophia, how sweet!
Rose: Oh honey, you shouldn't have!
Dorothy: [opening her package] Oh Ma, this is so lovely... and so familiar... this is mine. I thought the cleaner lost it.
Sophia: I told you the cleaner lost it. I took it. I needed something to go with my black sweater.
Rose: [examining the sweater in her package] This is my black sweater!
Sophia: I know. It goes great with...
Blanche: ...my pearls.
Sophia: Well, enjoy and be healthy! [leaves]
Sophia: Who's Laszlo?
Rose: He's a Hungarian sculptor we've all been posing nude for.
Sophia: [looking chagrined] In the future, a simple "None of your business, Sophia" will suffice!
Rose: He's a Hungarian sculptor we've all been posing nude for.
Sophia: [looking chagrined] In the future, a simple "None of your business, Sophia" will suffice!
Sophia: You're absolutely right Dorothy. And I'll tell you something else. A mother sometimes needs her children even more.
Dorothy: Thank you, Ma. That's very sweet.
Sophia: Give me twenty dollars.
Dorothy: No.
Dorothy: Thank you, Ma. That's very sweet.
Sophia: Give me twenty dollars.
Dorothy: No.
Stan: [sobbing] Chrissy left me for a younger man!
Dorothy: Younger than Chrissy? Where did she meet him, Camp Snoopy?
Stan: I didn't want to say anything. What the hell, you deserve to gloat a little.
Dorothy: I deserve to gloat a lot! But I can't. I know what the pain is like and I wouldn't wish it on... I don't know how to finish that sentence. I usually say, "Stan."
Dorothy: Younger than Chrissy? Where did she meet him, Camp Snoopy?
Stan: I didn't want to say anything. What the hell, you deserve to gloat a little.
Dorothy: I deserve to gloat a lot! But I can't. I know what the pain is like and I wouldn't wish it on... I don't know how to finish that sentence. I usually say, "Stan."
Stan: Ask me anything.
Sophia: All right, when the hell are you moving out?
Stan: You kill me.
Sophia: I'd love to.
Sophia: All right, when the hell are you moving out?
Stan: You kill me.
Sophia: I'd love to.
Stan: So Blanche, is Ted over here?
Blanche: What?
Stan: Oh I get it, he's in the shower.
Blanche: Stanley, your brother isn't here.
Stan: Come on Blanche. Did you get it with Ted?
Blanche: What?
Stan: You know. Cha-cha-cha, tango,tango,ole, ole
Rose: Nobody here speaks Spanish Stan.
Stan: Oh I got it, right, I can play dumb.
Sophia: Play, you could manage the team.
Blanche: What?
Stan: Oh I get it, he's in the shower.
Blanche: Stanley, your brother isn't here.
Stan: Come on Blanche. Did you get it with Ted?
Blanche: What?
Stan: You know. Cha-cha-cha, tango,tango,ole, ole
Rose: Nobody here speaks Spanish Stan.
Stan: Oh I got it, right, I can play dumb.
Sophia: Play, you could manage the team.
Stan: [after Sophia opens the door] Hi Sophia. I have a surprise for Dorothy!
Sophia: What? Now that you're off the blood pressure medicine its working again?
Sophia: What? Now that you're off the blood pressure medicine its working again?
Stanley: Your EX-husband, darling.
Dorothy: (not missing a beat) I'LL call the police.
Dorothy: (not missing a beat) I'LL call the police.
Stationmaster: Y'all may think this sounds kinda silly, but we actually printed "Our trains leave early" right on the town seal.
Rose: You have a town seal? Can he play a song on those little horns?
Stationmaster: No, but he can balance a ball on his nose if you throw him a catfish first!
Blanche: This is like the Twilight Zone. Somehow we got on a train that ended up inside Rose's mind.
Rose: You have a town seal? Can he play a song on those little horns?
Stationmaster: No, but he can balance a ball on his nose if you throw him a catfish first!
Blanche: This is like the Twilight Zone. Somehow we got on a train that ended up inside Rose's mind.
Store Worker: Those are very nice cantaloupes.
Blanche: [thinking he meant her breasts] Why thank you.
Blanche: [thinking he meant her breasts] Why thank you.