The Closer quotes

288 total quotes



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Hubbard: I'd heard Xavier had an alibi.
Brenda: Oh, it'd fall apart in a dryer.

Jennifer: I put everything in a green plastic bag and tossed it somewhere over on Mullholland Drive.
Brenda: Could you be a little more specific?

Jennifer: I put everything in a green plastic bag and tossed it somewhere over on Mullholland Drive.
Brenda: Could you be a little more specific?

Linda: If you're gonna treat me like a criminal, shouldn't I have an attorney?
Brenda: Oh, we'd get in such trouble if we gave legal advice. I was trying to get you in and out, but if having a lawyer would make you feel more comfortable, you just call one, and we'll wait. That's the nice thing about working for the government. You get paid for just being here.
Linda: That's how you're treating Tim's death? As an overtime opportunity?
Brenda: Well, I was going to ask you some questions ...
Linda: What do you think I could know?
Brenda: Well, I'm not sure, ma'am. But there was a third person in that warehouse and we're trying to figure out who that could've been. I'm only bringing it up because you were the first person to report him missing, and you are licensed to carry a handgun.
Linda: And I carry a handgun because it is my constitutional right to do so. And I have an ex who is also a cop and likes to drive by my house sometimes at night and flash his brights in my window. He even knocked on the door at Tim's one night. Drunk.
Brenda: Are you talking about Lawrence Xavier?
Linda: I am.
Gabriel: If he intimidated you, why didn't you report him?
Linda: Because Tim talked me out of it. He said he'd put a stop to it, and he did. And I only got one more call from Lawrence complaining about how much money he had wasted on our dates. So I sent him a check for $1,000 by messenger and y'know what? He cashed it, too. A------.

Linda: If you're gonna treat me like a criminal, shouldn't I have an attorney?
Brenda: Oh, we'd get in such trouble if we gave legal advice. I was trying to get you in and out, but if having a lawyer would make you feel more comfortable, you just call one, and we'll wait. That's the nice thing about working for the government. You get paid for just being here.
Linda: That's how you're treating Tim's death? As an overtime opportunity?
Brenda: Well, I was going to ask you some questions ...
Linda: What do you think I could know?
Brenda: Well, I'm not sure, ma'am. But there was a third person in that warehouse and we're trying to figure out who that could've been. I'm only bringing it up because you were the first person to report him missing, and you are licensed to carry a handgun.
Linda: And I carry a handgun because it is my constitutional right to do so. And I have an ex who is also a cop and likes to drive by my house sometimes at night and flash his brights in my window. He even knocked on the door at Tim's one night. Drunk.
Brenda: Are you talking about Lawrence Xavier?
Linda: I am.
Gabriel: If he intimidated you, why didn't you report him?
Linda: Because Tim talked me out of it. He said he'd put a stop to it, and he did. And I only got one more call from Lawrence complaining about how much money he had wasted on our dates. So I sent him a check for $1,000 by messenger and y'know what? He cashed it, too. A------.

Medical Examiner: Are you feeling any better?
Brenda: No, thanks for asking.

Medical Examiner: Are you feeling any better?
Brenda: No, thanks for asking.

Medical Examiner: What do we call this...Jane Doe?
Gabriel: The body formerly known as Lisa Barnes.

Medical Examiner: What do we call this...Jane Doe?
Gabriel: The body formerly known as Lisa Barnes.

Mr. Barnes: I have Lisa's death certificate [dated three years earlier]!
Brenda: So do I. Only mine's a litle more recent.

Mr. Barnes: I have Lisa's death certificate [dated three years earlier]!
Brenda: So do I. Only mine's a litle more recent.

Mr. Mitchell: So, he's really dead?
Brenda: Yes, I'm so sorry.
Mr. Mitchell: Will this affect property values?

Mr. Mitchell: So, he's really dead?
Brenda: Yes, I'm so sorry.
Mr. Mitchell: Will this affect property values?

Mrs. Lopez: If you insist on coming back here without our permission, I intend to report you to your superiors for harassment.
Brenda: You might have to take a number.

Mrs. Lopez: If you insist on coming back here without our permission, I intend to report you to your superiors for harassment.
Brenda: You might have to take a number.