Pushing Daisies quotes

74 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2  



Oscar Virbenius: Nothing sells books like a little murder and mayhem.

Penny: {knocking at Emerson's office door} Hello, I'm looking for Emerson Cod.

Narrator: Jocky cum waitress cum private investigator Olive Snook would experience two life events in quick succession: the first, opening her heart to a formally friendless taxidermist; and the second by opening a culinary palace dedicated to the art of macaroni and cheese called the Intrepid Cow. For the Piemaker and a dead girl named Chuck, their shared life event began with a touch and became the promise a new family brought about by the words

Vivian: But lying to yourself about love never works.
Emerson: Here Lies Dwight, Here Lies His Gun, He was bad, Now He's Done.

Vivian: It used to make you so happy, the water. I think it's brave to try to be happy. You've gotten so comfortable being unhappy. Wouldn't it be wonderful to wake up in the morning and choose to be happy, to let the water wash everything away?

[Chasing Sister LaRue after reviving her]
Ned: Nun on the run! Nun on the run! Nun on the run!
[Catches up to LaRue and touches her again]
Ned: We are so going to hell.

[Chuck hides with Emerson while her aunts are in the Pie-Hole.]
Chuck: They're here, because you stopped delivering their special pies, all this time I've been making special pies and what have you been...?
Olive: [Cutting Chuck off] And dosing them with God knows what, you claim that is vanilla, but that ain't vanilla.
Emerson: I'm gonna dose the both of you with a scoop of Shut the Fudge Up.

[Lily hallucinates after eating a pie with an overdose of anti-depressants.]
Lily Charles: When Charlotte was young, after we moved in, she used to stand right, right there, where you're floating, and watch the snow with me. At night, while she slept, I'd sneak into the backyard and make two snow angels. She never said anything, and I'd always play dumb. She thought they were her parents. One was her father, and the other one was me.
Olive Snook: You?
Lily: I'm Charlotte's mother.
Season Two

[Ned and Chuck roleplay in the morning]
Ned: Hi.
Chuck: Hi.
Ned: You must be the new girl in 44, I'm Ned.
Chuck: I'm Charlotte, but you can call me Chuck.
Ned: Hi Chuck... I... really wanna kiss you now.
Chuck: But, we've only just met, we're two strangers in a big city, these things take time... I work at the Pie Hole downstairs.
Ned: Really? I own the Pie Hole downstairs. May we walk together?
Chuck: Well, that'd be swell, Harvey.
Ned: It's Ned, actually.
Chuck: Ned, that's a very nice name.

[Ned and Emerson standing infront of Sister LaRue's body]
Ned: I'm not sure how I feel about doing this... here... with her [Indicating the Statue of Mary]...and him. [Indicating Jesus on the crucifix]
Emerson: Well it ain't like he ain't never done it before; remember Lazarus?

[Ned has brought back funeral director Lawrence to apologize]
Chuck: [noticing a pocket watch on Lawrence's body] Hey, I had one just like that.
Lawrence: Yeah, your dead body was buried with it.
Chuck You stole that off my dead body?
Lawrence: Well, your dead body wasn't doing anything with it.
[Chuck closes the casket; Ned tries to open it but can't]
Emerson: Oh, you better be playing.
Ned: [checks his watch] 12 seconds.
Emerson: Oh, hell no! [runs out of the funeral home making the Sign of the Cross]

[Ned walks into Olive's apartment, where Chuck has been hiding from Ned]
Ned: Been looking.
Chuck: Been hiding.
Ned: How much does Olive know?
Chuck: Don't worry about what Olive knows. Even if I told her the truth, that I died and you brought me back to life, she wouldn't believe me.
Ned: You don't know that.
Chuck: Yes I do, because I told her and she wouldn't believe me.

[Olive comes in while Ned, Chuck and Emerson discuss the case]
Olive: I know, they were lovers at the same-sex persuasion, and the key is for their love nest.
Ned: We've ruled out "Workplace Romance".
Olive: Oh... I'll just, cross that off my list then.
Chuck: I haven't ruled out "Workplace Romance".
[Chuck and Ned smile at one another]
Emerson: Romance does give you motive. Somebody's always lovin' somebody they shouldn't be lovin'.
[Glares at Olive, who glares back.]

[Olive holds up a glass of water]
Olive: Look carefully ladies, this is your future.
Lily: Is it vodka?
Olive: Water.
Lily: Hm. As in Russian for vodka?

I'm fine, thanks for asking, Ned!
[imitating Ned] That was a funny joke about the witch's bosom, Olive.
Well thanks, Ned!
[imitating Ned] And, and I appreciate you using the word bosom.
Why, Ned? Because it's less offensive than other words?
[imitating Ned] No, I just simply like the word bosom. I say it to myself all the time. Bosom bosom bosom. I just can't help myself. I'm a bosomoholic.

Ned: Are you done?
Olive: Think so.