Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes

1930 total quotes


Dr. Forrester: Your movie for today's experiment makes even me sick--and I liked Morgan Stewart's Coming Home.
Junior Rodeo Daredevils (short)

Dr. Forrester: Your movie today is Pod People. It has nothing to do with pods, it has nothing to do with people, it has everything to do with hurting!

Dr. Murase: Gamera seems able to resist attacks by all offensive weapons known to us. Therefore, I am forced to admit there may be even greater catastrophes ahead.
Servo: More Gamera movies?

Dr. Wyman: I've never seen an internally damaged body with no sign of rigor mortis after so long.
Mike [as Wyman]: And I love it!

Eddie [singing]: Anything...
Joel: ...Is better than this crap!

Engineer: Why don't they look, Ralph? Tell me, why don't they look?
Tom [as Ralph]: You're deep, Ernie.

Eric: Jenni, this is Mickey.
Mike [as Eric]: Mickey's a wide-awake nightmare!

Exeter: [to the Mutant] Stand back. I command you, STAND BACK!
Servo: ACTING!
Crow [as Exeter]: Well, that went well. I can't possibly think of what could go...
[The Mutant attacks Exeter, Crow mimicks screams of pain]

Exeter: Dr. Meacham! Good morning!
Meacham: Good morning.
Exeter: Please, come in. Both of you.
Servo [as Exeter]: We're glad you could join us at the Buddy Ebsen society!

Exeter: My name is Exeter.
Mike [as Exeter]: Doug Exeter.

Exeter: RUTH! MEACHAM!
Servo [as Exeter]: I LOVE YOU!
Meacham: [picks up boulder] Stand back, Exeter!
Exeter: Meacham, please! You have to believe me!
Mike [as Exeter]: You're holding a Mutant turd!

Exeter: Stand aside, please. You too, Dr. Wilson.
Servo [as Exeter]: No, farther towards the killzone, please!
Crow [as Exeter]: Yeah, God I'm good!
[Meacham notices the plug for the Interocetor]
Servo [as Meacham]: Dear God, I left the iron plugged in!
[Meacham rushes over to unplug the Interocetor, which starts sparking, causing him to lose balance. Joe rushes over to help him up]
Crow [as Joe]: Oh, come here, you big, dumb dope!
[The Interocetor is now ablaze]
Servo: Quick, get the baking soda!
Mike: Boy, the landlady's going to be mad!
Crow [as landlady]: [imitates knocking noise] Are you boys cooking up there?!
Mike: No!
Crow [as landlady]: Are you building an Interocetor?!
Mike: [casually] No!

Exeter: That's enough. Normal view.
Mike, Servo, and Crow: [singing in time with the dramatic music] Nor-mal view. Nor-mal view! Nor-mal view! NOR-MAL VIEWWWWWW!

Fingal: Shut up, Fat Man!
Mike [as Fingal]: You... you anteater!

Gale: So say something!
Crow [as Martin]: "Something!"
Martin: "Something."
Crow: D'oh! ...Got riffback on that one.