Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes

1930 total quotes


Crow: [Singing to the Puma Man theme music] Puma Man! He flies like a moron!

Crow: [talking about the Puppet Wrangler credit for Mystery Science Theater 3000] "Puppet Wrangler"? There weren't any puppets in this movie!

Crow: A rare Godzilla-free day.

Crow: Ah, that gooey LA sky.
Mike: Birds? Nope. All dead.

Crow: Alright, come on, sing, sing! Row, row, row-- you're not singing!
Narrator: Hundreds of live chickens can be speeded on their way to the dressing plant.
Crow: Dressing plant? Sounds like fun.
Servo: I want a new hat.
[Shot of a gas station]
Narrator: One truck can handle thousands of eggs and take them anywhere there to market.
Mike: Even to the Texaco station.

Crow: Bart Fargo IS... Hard to-- watch.

Crow: Bart Fargo. Bartfargobartfargobartfargobartfargo... Heh, that's hard!

Crow: Boy! Nothing more depressing than being locked in a capsule watching a movie about people dying in a capsule.

Crow: But I need a stove.

Crow: C'mon! Try and move faster than the plot!

Crow: Does just walking through it make you want to kill yourself? Then it's a high school!

Crow: Filmed in Vermont: the other, smaller Wisconsin!

Crow: Guests of Final Justice fly TWA.

Crow: Hard to trust somebody not named Steve.

Crow: Hayley Mills in The Amazing Trans-PARENT Trap!