Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotesJudge: Some people think that newspapers exaggerate juvenile crime...
Mike: We don't! Can we go?
Mike: We don't! Can we go?
Kalgan: I'm going to use this laser on your teeth. It's similar to ancient dentistry, not that you'd know anything about that.
Servo [as Kalgan]: You're too stupid to know anything about dentistry.
Lea: You bastard!
Mike [as Lea]: How dare you insult my knowledge of ancient dentistry!
Servo [as Kalgan]: You're too stupid to know anything about dentistry.
Lea: You bastard!
Mike [as Lea]: How dare you insult my knowledge of ancient dentistry!
Ken: There's the ship... but how do I get aboard?
Servo: Go to the lumber yard! That's how you get a board!
Servo: Go to the lumber yard! That's how you get a board!
Ken: Yeah, it's one of Dr. Doyle's old patients, Mr. Harvey.
Servo [as Ken/Elwood Dowd]: Yeah, he's a big rabbit, you see, there...
The Beatniks (movie)
Servo [as Ken/Elwood Dowd]: Yeah, he's a big rabbit, you see, there...
The Beatniks (movie)
Kid on Bike: You're not FBI agents!
Mulder: How do you know?
Kid on Bike: 'Cause y'all look like door-to-door salesmen.
Servo [as Mulder]: Yeah, well, you look like Howdy Doody with a headcold.
Mulder: How do you know?
Kid on Bike: 'Cause y'all look like door-to-door salesmen.
Servo [as Mulder]: Yeah, well, you look like Howdy Doody with a headcold.
Kitty: [singing] Are you happy...
Crow: Define "happy!"
Kitty: ...In your work...
Joel: Oh, don't sing this to me on a Monday...
Crow: Define "happy!"
Kitty: ...In your work...
Joel: Oh, don't sing this to me on a Monday...
Kobras: Because you come from Earth...
Servo [as Kobras]: Corn grows in you.
Kobras: And to Earth you shall return!
Mike: Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.
Servo [as Kobras]: Corn grows in you.
Kobras: And to Earth you shall return!
Mike: Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.
Kobras: Get moving. Comb the area. Find him. Kill him.
Crow: Donald's only use for the word "comb".
Crow: Donald's only use for the word "comb".
Kobras: Sometimes there is more truth in legend than in history.
Mike [as Kobras]: And there's more salt in ham than in turkey.
Mike [as Kobras]: And there's more salt in ham than in turkey.
Krenner: Keep your eye on the guinea pig.
Servo: [singing] Keep your eyeeeee on the guinea pig!
Servo: [singing] Keep your eyeeeee on the guinea pig!
Krenner: Would you prepare one of your subjects for the ray treatment, Doctor. We must impress Mr. Faust with the end result of your highly-acclaimed scientific labors.
Mike [as Dr. Ulof]: You want me to make him a sandwich, in other words.
Mike [as Dr. Ulof]: You want me to make him a sandwich, in other words.
Liz: Honestly, Peg -- I don't know how many times, ever since we were in high school together, I've heard you go on the same way about some man or other.
Peg: Oh, but this is different, Liz! Really it is!
Mike [as Peg]: He's anatomically correct, and everything!
Peg: It's the real thing.
Liz: I remember when I first felt that way about Andy.
Servo [as Liz]: ...at the turn of the century.
Peg: Oh, but this is different, Liz! Really it is!
Mike [as Peg]: He's anatomically correct, and everything!
Peg: It's the real thing.
Liz: I remember when I first felt that way about Andy.
Servo [as Liz]: ...at the turn of the century.