Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotesJapanese General: Operation Rear View Mirror has failed.
Servo: Now do Operation Fuzzy Dice.
Servo: Now do Operation Fuzzy Dice.
Jerry: How's college?
Madison: Fine. You should try it some time.
Jerry: No thanks. The world's my college.
Crow: He's taking it pass-fail.
Madison: Fine. You should try it some time.
Jerry: No thanks. The world's my college.
Crow: He's taking it pass-fail.
Jody: This your pond?
[Lengthy pause]
Crow [as Jody]: You can take your time, it's a tough question.
Melissa: It belongs to my father.
Jody: Oh, does your father mind if people skip rocks across his pond?
Servo [as Melissa]: As long as you don't hit his favorite frog.
[Another pause]
Melissa: I don't think he's mentioned it before. That your car?
Jody: Yeah.
Servo [as Melissa]: Mind if I skip rocks across it?
[Lengthy pause]
Crow [as Jody]: You can take your time, it's a tough question.
Melissa: It belongs to my father.
Jody: Oh, does your father mind if people skip rocks across his pond?
Servo [as Melissa]: As long as you don't hit his favorite frog.
[Another pause]
Melissa: I don't think he's mentioned it before. That your car?
Jody: Yeah.
Servo [as Melissa]: Mind if I skip rocks across it?
Joe's buddy: How'd ya like this shop class, Joe?
Joe: I like it swell. Why?
[Scene cuts to Joe's big eared buddy]
Servo [as Joe's buddy]: Could you staple my ears back?
Joe: I like it swell. Why?
[Scene cuts to Joe's big eared buddy]
Servo [as Joe's buddy]: Could you staple my ears back?
Joe: Of course, I don't know if I'd ever tell my buddies all this. 'Cuz, well, sometimes they laugh when you tell them things like that.
Crow [as Joe]: Then they pants you and drag you around the track��
Crow [as Joe]: Then they pants you and drag you around the track��
Joe: Where do we start?
Meacham: Right here. [points towards strange symbol on blueprint.]
Mike [as Meacham]: At Goofy Clown Face!
Meacham: Right here. [points towards strange symbol on blueprint.]
Mike [as Meacham]: At Goofy Clown Face!
Joe: You know what my kids would say...
Mike: [interrupting] "You're not my real father!"
Joe: "Dig this crazy, mixed-up plumbing!"
Meacham: Plug it in, Joe.
Mike: Doesn't even have any kids. Poor, deluded Joe.
Mike: [interrupting] "You're not my real father!"
Joe: "Dig this crazy, mixed-up plumbing!"
Meacham: Plug it in, Joe.
Mike: Doesn't even have any kids. Poor, deluded Joe.
Joel [as Buzz's Mother]: Why does my kid have to be such a dud? I was popular!
Joel [as Buzz]: [in a whiny voice] That hurt. I'm all messed up inside. If only an androgynous man would come and visit me...