[Stottlemeyer arrives to arrest Dale for the murder, interrupting Dale's video-talk with another girl]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Hello, Mr. Biederbeck.
Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck: Captain. I really wish you would've called. I'm a little busy at the moment.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I'm here to arrest you for the murder of Judge Kate Lavinio. [tosses Dale an envelope] That's a warrant. Duly sworn.
Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck: [to the girl on TV] Sweetheart, I'm gonna have to call you back. [turns off the monitor] Doctor, will you call Howard Klein and tell him we're suing the city for malicious prosecution��again? [Stottlemeyer motions towards the French doors]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I have hired a local construction company to take out this door. We're gonna get a crane here and lower your fat ass down to the street.
Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck: [laughs] A crane? Oh, that's rich. But would you mind explaining to me how I'm supposed to have killed the bitch? I can't leave this room, remember?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Mr. Monk!
Dale "the Whale" Biederbeck: Well, my, my, my. [Monk, Sharona, and a uniformed cop enter, carrying two chairs] It's the defective detective once more. Lay it on me, Einstein.
Adrian Monk: These two chairs are from the judge's house. The killer stood on one of them when he turned off the smoke alarm. A girl in the neighborhood saw, quote, a very, very fat man standing on it. But there's something funny about the chair. It's not broken. [refers to the uniform] This is Sergeant Cargill from the 14th Precinct. Sergeant, how much do you weigh?
Sgt. Cargill: 265.
Adrian Monk: Would you mind? [Cargill stands on top of the chair, which breaks under his weight] So, how could a very, very fat man have stood on it? There's only one explanation. He was a fat man, not a heavy man. Lieutenant? [Randy enters wearing Dr. Vezza's empathy suit] I visited your clinic today and borrowed one of your empathy suits. [Randy stands on the other chair, which does not break] Fat, but not heavy. I believe we have another warrant to serve.

[Stottlemeyer comes to the recording studio to arrest Willie Nelson for murder]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Willie Nelson?
Jody Payne - Band Member #1: I'm Willie Nelson.
Bee Spears - Band Member #2: I'm Willie Nelson.
Mickey Raphael - Band Member #3: I'm Willie Nelson.
Willie Nelson: Don't think they're goin' for it, boys.
Lt. Randall Disher: Mr. Nelson, we have a warrant for your arrest for the premeditated murder of Jason "Sonny" Cross.

[Stottlemeyer et al. confront McDowell about his affair with the murder victim.]
Stottlemeyer: She was your girlfriend.
McDowell: Yes, uh... I really screwed up, big time.
Stottlemeyer: How long have you been "screwing up"?

[Stottlemeyer speaks at a press conference about Sidney Teal's death]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Sidney Teal did not suffer a nervous breakdown. The incident on Harrison Place was, in fact, a crime of passion. We believe that Mr. Teal, was in fact trying to murder Mr. Modine, who was linked romantically at one time with Mr. Teal's wife, Myra. Over the next 10 days, the D.A.'s office is going to decide whether or not they want to press charges against Mr. Modine for filing a false report. Any questions?
Reporter #1: Captain, is there any news on Fraidy Cop?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No comment.
Reporter #1: Captain, there's a story in today's Tribune that says the department knows the identity of Fraidy Cop, but is refusing to release it.
Reporter #2: Is that true, Captain?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No comment. [The reporters all clamor for a few moments until Stottlemeyer interrupts] All right. Hey, hey. Hang on. I have another statement, and here it is: The next reporter that asks me about this so-called Fraidy Cop is going to be banned from all press conferences for a year.

[The earthquake prevents Sharona and Benjy from returning to their home.]
Sharona: Well, we can always stay at Aunt Gail's.
Benjy: Why can't we stay at Mr. Monk's?
Sharona: Because I will go crazy slower at Aunt Gail's.

[Tonday gives Monk his headband from his famous 1973 run. Monk places it against his cheek.]
Monk: Thank you, my friend. Thank you for this. This... means the world to me.
Tonday: I haven't worn it since the big race. Or washed it.
[Tonday gets into his taxi. Monk pulls the headband off his cheek and stares at it.]
Monk: Baggie! Baggie! Baggie, baggie!
Sharona: Just give it to me.

[Trying to locate the murder victim, Monk investigates some missing bags of quicklime.]
Adrian Monk: There had to be more than one person. I think we're looking for a gang. Did they move those palette boards?
Groundskeeper: They don't belong there.
[Monk compares the window height to the palette stack height.]
Adrian Monk: They were short.
Groundskeeper: A short gang of lime thieves?
Adrian Monk: It's a nutty world.