Magnum, P.I. quotes
175 total quotesMagnum: [narrating] One of the best things about living in paradise is that when you get a couple of days off, you don't have to go someplace else to have fun and relax. Instead, you can concentrate on some of the finer things in life, like art. It comes in many shapes and forms and textures. You can find it anywhere, even in the sand. No matter how old or young you are, there's an incredible feeling of pride when you create something with your own two hands.
Magnum: [narrating] Sure, I know, it's crazy to refer to whatever Higgins and I share as friendship, but it is. We fight and bicker like an old married couple, but somewhere, mixed in with the jibes, is a funny kind of mutual trust.
Magnum: [narrating] When you spend your every working day basking in the balmy breezes of paradise, when you play year round on the beautiful sunny beaches of the Pacific, where do you dream of going on a vacation? The answer is obvious: Detroit. Reason one: Detroit's a fun city. Reason two: There's a superior group of athletes there known as the Tigers! Reason three:
T.C.: A free trip? You think you're going to get a free trip to Detroit on my tab Thomas?
Magnum: T.C., I'm doing you a favor.
T.C.: A free trip? You think you're going to get a free trip to Detroit on my tab Thomas?
Magnum: T.C., I'm doing you a favor.
Magnum: Higgins, I can explain.
Higgins: I knew I could count on hearing that pathetic phrase once again, it is as regular as the rising and setting of the-
Magnum: Do you wanna know why or not?
Higgins: Not.
Higgins: I knew I could count on hearing that pathetic phrase once again, it is as regular as the rising and setting of the-
Magnum: Do you wanna know why or not?
Higgins: Not.
Magnum: Rick, there's a bug in your hair.
Rick: Yeah, right.
T.C.: No, really, Rick, there's a praying mantis.
Rick: [mimicks]"Rick, there's a bug in your pocket," "Rick, there's a centipede," "Rick, there's a lizard." Well, I'm not buyin' it! [Rick walks off]
[Rick screams]
Rick: Yeah, right.
T.C.: No, really, Rick, there's a praying mantis.
Rick: [mimicks]"Rick, there's a bug in your pocket," "Rick, there's a centipede," "Rick, there's a lizard." Well, I'm not buyin' it! [Rick walks off]
[Rick screams]
Magnum: This was done by dot matrix.
Luther: Who's Dot Matrix, and what's she got to do with this?
Magnum: She's a computer, Luther!
Luther: Who's Dot Matrix, and what's she got to do with this?
Magnum: She's a computer, Luther!
Magnum: When I write my book on being a first class private investigator, Rule Number 168 is going to be: "If you're getting chased, you should be in a fast car". Postscript to Rule 168: "No matter how fast your car is, there can always be one that's faster".
Naval Officer: To most Americans, this Fourth of July is a day of picnics and fireworks, of ball games and potato sack races, of political speeches and parades. But to us, the friends and family of Lieutenant Thomas Magnum Senior, this Fourth of July 1951 will always be remembered as the day he came home from the sea. God Bless and keep his wife and son.
Ralph: Mr. Magnum, thanks for the invite. This English ale's got the kick of a Molokai mule. And any time you wanna break into a place I'm guarding ... open sesame!
Rick: Come on, T.C., a lizard could have caught that. I've seen better hands on my mother!
T.C.: Well, maybe you oughta bring your momma out here. At least she is a girl; you just pitch like one!
T.C.: Well, maybe you oughta bring your momma out here. At least she is a girl; you just pitch like one!
Rick: You know, Higgins, there's something that I always wanted to tell you. I mean, deep down, you're really an okay guy.
Higgins: How reassuring.
Higgins: How reassuring.
T.C.: [after Magnum and Rick complain about his piloting] You get what you pay for, and none of you paid!
Rick: Where is your holiday spirit?
T.C.: Back home in New Orleans, which is where I'm gonna be as soon as Captain Calvin's Charity Chopper dumps all you freeloaders off!
Rick: Where is your holiday spirit?
T.C.: Back home in New Orleans, which is where I'm gonna be as soon as Captain Calvin's Charity Chopper dumps all you freeloaders off!
T.C.: And Robin Master's little red wagon for the whole entire time that you're gone. Sorry Thomas, but I need wheels and I'm having problems with the van.
Magnum: What's wrong with it?
T.C.: It's not a Ferrari.
Magnum: What's wrong with it?
T.C.: It's not a Ferrari.
[Higgins finds camera lens cap... without camera or lens]
Higgins: Oh my god. Where is it?
Magnum: [acting innocent] Where's what?
Higgins: The 110mm lens this cap should be covering.
Magnum: Higgins, I can explain.
Higgins: I am utterly sick and tried of those four pathetic words "Higgins I can explain".
Higgins: Oh my god. Where is it?
Magnum: [acting innocent] Where's what?
Higgins: The 110mm lens this cap should be covering.
Magnum: Higgins, I can explain.
Higgins: I am utterly sick and tried of those four pathetic words "Higgins I can explain".
[Magnum is at a fancy dress party in his normal trademark look]
Marge: Great costume!
Magnum: Oh, this isn't a costume.
Nolan: Really?! You wear that shirt in public?
Marge: Great costume!
Magnum: Oh, this isn't a costume.
Nolan: Really?! You wear that shirt in public?