Magnum: You had breakfast?
Bridget: Are you kidding? I haven't eaten anything decent since Cleveland. Except maybe a moldy bear claw.
Magnum: I think I can do better than that.
Higgins: Don't bet on it.

Magnum:(Discovering Higgins' old war nickname) Punky?!

Margo: [on seeing T.C.'s helicopter fly past the Estate] Who's that?
Magnum: Oh, that is a buddy of mine, and he sometimes flies tourists over the Estate to see what famous person might be sun-bathing naked on the beach.
Margo: Well I'm not famous or naked.
Magnum: You will be... [pauses] famous.

Mert: Higgins, the dogs are supposed to attack the Sushi Brothers, not Magnum.
Higgins: Sorry, force of habit. It won't happen again.

Naval Officer: To most Americans, this Fourth of July is a day of picnics and fireworks, of ball games and potato sack races, of political speeches and parades. But to us, the friends and family of Lieutenant Thomas Magnum Senior, this Fourth of July 1951 will always be remembered as the day he came home from the sea. God Bless and keep his wife and son.

Ralph: Mr. Magnum, thanks for the invite. This English ale's got the kick of a Molokai mule. And any time you wanna break into a place I'm guarding ... open sesame!

Rick: [after being dazzled by Bridget's skills with gambling odds] I think I'm in love.
T.C.: [checks watch] Ten minutes to ten, I wondered how long it'd take you to fall in love today.

Rick: [narrating] It was January 23rd, 1958. I was twelve years old and my kid sister Wendy was five. My mom and dad had just been killed in an automobile accident. My aunts and uncles were arguing about who would have to take care of Wendy and me. Well, any other kid probably would have been scared, but I wasn't. I knew mom and dad would have been happy wherever they were, as long as they were together. I knew Wendy and I would be okay wherever we were, as long as we were together. But the one thing I couldn't stop thinking about is how if I was somebody I could have afforded to get some flowers for the funeral. Boy, I wanted to get them some flowers.

Rick: [to Magnum] This is a private club. Unless you've got membership money pal, I suggest you leave, and leave now.

Rick: [tracing a vehicle for Magnum] You know, do me a favor � next time when you give me the details, at least give me a little bit more than 'the big van was painted the same color as the boy's locker room in junior high', will ya?

Rick: Alright, I'll do the favor; But let's get one thing straight � I'm not gonna put on ANY dumb disguise, I'm not playing garbage men, delivery men, sewer men, any other kind of men, is that... that's final now, right?
Magnum: Of course.
[Cut to next scene, where Rick is dressed as a bakery delivery man]

Rick: Come on, T.C., a lizard could have caught that. I've seen better hands on my mother!
T.C.: Well, maybe you oughta bring your momma out here. At least she is a girl; you just pitch like one!

Rick: I just put you on a case, Sherlock.
Magnum: You can't do that. I'm already on a case.
Rick: Yeah, well now you're on two. And boy, are you gonna thank me.
Magnum: Boy, am I gonna kill you.

Rick: I saw in this movie once where they bumped off this guy for his money. They took a lawn mower, an electric lawn mower, and threw it right in the bathtub. Bzzzzzzzzzz! It fried him just like that! You better take showers.
Magnum: Guys!
T.C.: Come to think of it, you better stay out of the kitchen too, all sorts of things can happen in there - Gas, poisoning, garbage disposals.
Magnum: Garbage disposals??

Rick: You better be right, sweetheart.
Magnum: Come on, when have I ever been wrong?
Rick: I can't count that high.