[Gene Hunt violently pushes a table aside]
Gene Hunt: I'm done with this game. Let's play another. Let's play, eh, hopscotch or pin the tail on a donkey. You pick, Dora.
Dora Keens: I want a lawyer.
Gene Hunt: I wanna hump Britt Eklund, what are we gonna do?

[Gene is looking at a poster for The Good, The Bad And The Ugly]
Sam Tyler: Which one are you?
Gene Hunt: All three.

[just caught by DCI Hunt]
Billy Kemble: Oh, bollocks.
Gene Hunt: My thoughts exactly. [knees Kemble in aforementioned spot]

[Last lines of the first series]
Ray Carling: So, what do you want to do now, Guv?
Gene Hunt: [thinks for a moment] Pub!
Ray Carling: [smirks] Pub.
Chris Skelton: [grins] Pub.
Sam Tyler: [looks at the other three men in turn, slowly smiles] Pub.
[All get in car and drive off]
Series 2

[Open University is on TV, presenter's geometry-exercising turns into medical diagnostics from 2006.]
Sam: [alerted and denying he'd be in a deep coma] Wait! I'm in BUPA! Get me out of here!

[Preparing guns before the shoot-out]
Ray Carling: Yeah, but can you hit anything?
Sam Tyler: You should see my Playstation scores.

[Ray walks into shot, wearing a Manchester United scarf and freezes once he sees Sam and Gene]
Sam Tyler: I thought he had flu?
Gene Hunt: Sergeant!
[Ray makes a run for it]
Gene Hunt: [chasing] Come back 'ere you skiving little git!

[Reading a title of a pornographic film]
Gene Hunt: Once Upon A Time In Her Vest? [disgusted] You dare to pollute the glorious genre of the American Western?

[Sam & Gene are questioning a suspect]
Gene Hunt: You know, if you were Pinocchio you'd have just poked my eye out!

[Sam and Annie are standing on the steps outside, Gene Hunt approaches with Leonard, a witness who Annie has just agreed to watch overnight]
Sam Tyler: Annie's going to sit with him tonight.
Gene Hunt: Hey, Leonard! Fanny in the flat! Nice work!

[Sam has asked Annie to contribute to the investigation - much to the jeers of the other male detectives]
Sam Tyler: Now the victim wasn't gagged. Why didn't he gag her, Annie?
Annie Cartwright: Because he needed to, er, he needed to see her mouth, her lips. We have to see the things that we value.
Sam Tyler: Now put yourselves in the mind of this man. You're lonely. Every night you dream of this girl, and she's got big eyes and red ruby lips. So you go out and you find that girl, and you bring her home. But you don't gag her, cos you want to see those ruby lips, but you just can't bring yourself to kiss 'em.
Annie Cartwright: He'd get embarrassed, angry, he'd start to blame the girl. It's her fault, she's taunting him by just being there.
Sam Tyler: And then one day you just snap. Strangle her, using bootlace, and the cycle starts all over again with a different girl. And this time, you're positive that you're going to be brave enough to kiss her.
Annie Cartwright: Only you won't be.

[Sam stands on a building roof, planning to jump to wake up from his coma]
Annie Cartwright: We all feel like jumping sometimes, Sam. But we don't, you and me. Because we're not cowards.

[Sam Tyler asks Leonard, a witness, the registration number of the car that he saw]
Leonard: E... dunno.
Gene Hunt: Sorry, was that you saying the letter E and then you don't know the rest, or was that you saying "Ee, I dunno!"?

[Sam Tyler is hand cuffed to his bed, naked]
Gene Hunt: Morning
Sam Tyler: Piss off
Gene Hunt: Well it's not all badminton and golf in Hyde, then eh?

[Sam's coming down the one-way street with some food in both hands, about to step on the walkway when a cyclist from behind almost hits him]
Sam Tyler: Oi! [upset] Keep it on the road! [walks along some steps, adding semi-joking/sternly] Comin' 'round your house, stamp on your toys!"