Jersey Shore quotes
97 total quotesSnooki: Mike can be a nice guy, like, he shows his good side then he shows his jerk off side. That's what I like: a good guy and a jerk off, it's all in the same.
Snooki: Old people, they lose their sex life and that's not a fun time. That's why people always get divorced.
Snooki: These are the things I think I'm addicted to: bronzer, boys, and alcohol.
Snooki: This is the first night that we're going out to a club. Fuckin' Ron and Sam aren't coming out, SHOCKER...shocker. So what are they gonna do? They're gonna look at each other's eyes and say "I love you, baby," all night? We're in fuckin' Seaside, bitch! Let's go to fuckin' Karma.
Snooki: What I would love to find is a guido, juicehead with my style who's not a cheater 'cause I'm not gonna go on Match.com again.
Snooki: You look at me you think I'm like a stuck-up bitch, but yet, like, veterinarian, like that's my soul, like I fuckin' like, save animals, like that's what I do.
Vinny: [about Pauly D's stalker] Yo, Pauly D has a little situation on his hands...she's definitely a stage 5 clinger.
Vinny: [to Mike] How do I taste, bro? How does my dick taste, bro? Congratulations on my sloppy seconds.
Vinny: I personally like fake boobs.
Pauly D: You like 'em like you like your girl's eyes, cockeyed.
Pauly D: You like 'em like you like your girl's eyes, cockeyed.
Vinny: Jenni's tits definitely defy gravity. I think Albert Einstein should come back and rewrite his laws of physics and work it around Jenni's tits.
Vinny: My uncles want me to just come here and bang everything, but I kinda want better quality girls.