Jersey Shore quotes

97 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  



Snooki: Even though I just met him, Nick seems like the perfect juicehead gorilla for me. And I kinda wanna have sex with him already!

Snooki: Even though we're tiny bitches, I don't give a sh-t...I will fuckin' attack you like a squirrel monkey.

Snooki: Every time I get really excited like if we go to a club, I have to poop. If we go to a party, I have to poop, if I go on a date, like this, with a hot guy, I have to poop.

Snooki: Every time I meet a nice guy, he dies. It's the same with every pet, friend or relative I've ever had. EVERYONE DIES! Next it's gonna be me. Its all just a big conspiracy!
Season 4

Snooki: Honestly, like who hides in a bush? Only me. I will pee in a bush, I will poop in a bush, and I will hide in a bush. I do fucked up shit, I don't even know what's wrong with me.

Snooki: I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning... because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.

Snooki: I feel like a pilgrim from the frickin 20's!!!

Snooki: I had a feeling where I wanted to make out with somebody, so, umm, I just made out with Ryder, because all the guys like that.

Snooki: I hate guys. I'm turning lesbian, I swear.

Snooki: I have Vinny in the house now, maybe I don't need the vibrator. We'll see...

Snooki: I'm going to Jersey Shore, bitch!

Snooki: I'm not trashy, unless I drink too much.

Snooki: It hurts my vagina.
Mike "The Situation": OK, come down.
Snooki: No no, I like it!

Snooki: It's kinda like a disease to Snook-for-Love, it's worse than a staph infection. It just keeps eating at you and eating at you.

Snooki: Jen, you're fuckin' retarded for agreeing with Angelina, and Angelina, shut the fuck up, cuz who are you?