Jersey Shore quotes
97 total quotesRonnie: Right away I know it's either Snooki or Jenni, but then I read the letter and I see the word "wisely," and I know Snooki doesn't use that kinda vocabulary.
Ronnie: Snooki walks in the door with this Gremlin look-a-like and she says she's the new roommate.
Ronnie: Standing in one corner, 4 foot 9, 2 inches with the poof, 'Snooki' Polizzi... standing in the other corner at 322 lbs, the Staten Island Dump!
Ronnie: The Ron-Ron Juice is the shit that gets the night going, I mean whenever that shit comes out it's always a filthy night.
Ronnie: You just take your shirt off and they come to you, it's like a fly comes to shit.
Sammi: [about Snooki] This little shrimp thing is like bopping all around, on the circle and like doing her thing, doing backwards flips with her thong hanging out; her whole crotch is in the air.
Sammi: A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tanned skin, wears the hottest heels, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it.
Sammi: I definitely want to look good for Ronnie's parents, because it's the first time they're meeting me. Like, I want them to think like, wow, that's her, she's really pretty, and whatever.
Sammi: Yes, I had sex, like hello, you're gonna have sex if you're into somebody. It's natural.
Snooki: [after knocking the marinating chicken onto the floor] My first thought was, I don't wanna clean this up. My second thought was, I just fucked up dinner. My third thought was, what the fuck am I gonna eat?
Snooki: [at work] If I wanna have a beer, I'm allowed to have a beer. This isn't like Law School, this is a T-Shirt Shop.
Snooki: [behind the counter] I can't see any ice creams, I can't see any customers, 'cause I'm a fuckin' Smurf.
Snooki: Angelina got it in with Vinny 'cause she's a loosey-goose, and then she had sex with Jose the next day...WHORE...just sayin'.
Snooki: Can I have a roll please?
Mike "The Situation": Don't worry, you got a couple.
Mike "The Situation": Don't worry, you got a couple.
Snooki: Do you know what gay guys do? They're not attracted to vagina, they're attracted to asshole.