Invader Zim quotes
263 total quotesMall Santa: And what do you want little boy or girl?
GIR: I wants me a barrel of floss, I wants me two balls of glue...to be my friends! And I wants to go dancin' naked! And I wants...
[Time passes; Santa looks extremely annoyed]
GIR: ...and a chair made of cheese, and a table made of cheese, and a...
Mall Santa: Ugh! No more! Get this kid away from me!
GIR: I wants me a barrel of floss, I wants me two balls of glue...to be my friends! And I wants to go dancin' naked! And I wants...
[Time passes; Santa looks extremely annoyed]
GIR: ...and a chair made of cheese, and a table made of cheese, and a...
Mall Santa: Ugh! No more! Get this kid away from me!
Mortos: [finishing his soda] Ah, Refreshing! Mortos grant wish now! [to Dib] What you want again? Hello?
[Dib, busily wrestling Zim, doesn't hear Mortos. Da' Cone walks by Mortos]
Da' Cone: Wee-hoo! I wish I had me some ice cream!
Mortos: Your wish is granted!
[Mortos summons a demon ice cream man that hands the pedestrian an ice cream cone]
Da' Cone: Well whaddya know? [takes a lick] Ew, raisin.
[He throws the ice cream to the ground]
Dib: Noooo!
Mortos: Mortos so weak... I need to go return now...
Dib: Nooo! Mortos, you still owe me!
Mortos: Maybe next time you not be so cheap with Mortos. See you in a thousand years!
[Dib, busily wrestling Zim, doesn't hear Mortos. Da' Cone walks by Mortos]
Da' Cone: Wee-hoo! I wish I had me some ice cream!
Mortos: Your wish is granted!
[Mortos summons a demon ice cream man that hands the pedestrian an ice cream cone]
Da' Cone: Well whaddya know? [takes a lick] Ew, raisin.
[He throws the ice cream to the ground]
Dib: Noooo!
Mortos: Mortos so weak... I need to go return now...
Dib: Nooo! Mortos, you still owe me!
Mortos: Maybe next time you not be so cheap with Mortos. See you in a thousand years!
Ms. Bitters: The candidates will now speak. And then be quiet! And then I go away from you all.
Zim: As president, I will assure that all mankind has its legs sawed off!
[silence]
Zim: [nervously] And, uh, replaced with legs of pure gold!
[The students smile approvingly]
Zim: Yes! And I will grant you the power to fire lasers from your heads!
The Letter M: I like gold!
Morla: I like my head!
Zim: As president, I will assure that all mankind has its legs sawed off!
[silence]
Zim: [nervously] And, uh, replaced with legs of pure gold!
[The students smile approvingly]
Zim: Yes! And I will grant you the power to fire lasers from your heads!
The Letter M: I like gold!
Morla: I like my head!
Prof. Membrane: [on a video monitor] Kids, I'm glad we could have this dinnertime recording together. Now, Gaz, if you could just put that can of beans in the proton oven! Be sure to take them out of the can or the explosion will destroy all human life!
[Gaz puts the unopened can in the proton oven, but the power goes out]
Gaz: Dib!
Dib: Sorry, Gaz! Just doing a few adjustments on Tak's ship!
[The power comes back on. Gaz adds two more cans then starts the oven. The bottom blows off in a small explosion]
Gaz:That didn't wipe out all life as we know it?!? You lied to me, Dad!
[Gaz puts the unopened can in the proton oven, but the power goes out]
Gaz: Dib!
Dib: Sorry, Gaz! Just doing a few adjustments on Tak's ship!
[The power comes back on. Gaz adds two more cans then starts the oven. The bottom blows off in a small explosion]
Gaz:That didn't wipe out all life as we know it?!? You lied to me, Dad!
Randome kid:Whoa,check out his eyeball
Dib:The eyeball of and alien invader!
Zim:LIES!LIES!Have you not heard of pinkeye?!? It is a normal human illness.
Zita:Yeah,Pinky got it really bad last week.
Dib:The eyeball of and alien invader!
Zim:LIES!LIES!Have you not heard of pinkeye?!? It is a normal human illness.
Zita:Yeah,Pinky got it really bad last week.
Tallest Red: Identify yourself.
Lardy Nar: [disguised deep voice] We are the Resisty! And we have come to-
Tallest Purple: Whoa, whoa whoa. Did you say the Resisty?
Lardy Nar: Yes the Resisty! And we have come to-
Tallest Purple: That's a stupid name.
Lardy Nar: [regular voice] See! I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to yours?
Spleenk: I don't know.
Lardy Nar: [disguised deep voice] We are the Resisty! And we have come to-
Tallest Purple: Whoa, whoa whoa. Did you say the Resisty?
Lardy Nar: Yes the Resisty! And we have come to-
Tallest Purple: That's a stupid name.
Lardy Nar: [regular voice] See! I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to yours?
Spleenk: I don't know.
Teacher: Dwicky! Do you really believe in aliens?!?
Dwicky: [laughs] Not anymore! All the child-like wonder was ripped from my heart the day my foot got stuck in an escalator and aliens didn't come rescue me! No, I'll just humor Dib until he tells me what the real problem is.
Teacher: [spazzes out] AGH! That's...psycho-technical talk!! [falls to the floor]
Dwicky: Indeed it is.
Dwicky: [laughs] Not anymore! All the child-like wonder was ripped from my heart the day my foot got stuck in an escalator and aliens didn't come rescue me! No, I'll just humor Dib until he tells me what the real problem is.
Teacher: [spazzes out] AGH! That's...psycho-technical talk!! [falls to the floor]
Dwicky: Indeed it is.
Young Prof. Membrane: Oh, boy! I asked Santa for twelve cases of Uranium 238. Yay!
[Prof. Membrane opens a present. Tube socks shoot out from the present and fill the room]
Young Prof. Membrane: Nooo! Santa has let me down! I will turn my back on him and devote a portion of my life to destroying Santa! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[Prof. Membrane opens a present. Tube socks shoot out from the present and fill the room]
Young Prof. Membrane: Nooo! Santa has let me down! I will turn my back on him and devote a portion of my life to destroying Santa! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Zim's Computer: There's someone at the door.
Zim: Oh, what is it? I have not the patience for- AAAAAH! Girl with cookies! Girl with cookies!
Zim: Oh, what is it? I have not the patience for- AAAAAH! Girl with cookies! Girl with cookies!
Zim's Robot Elves: [singing] Bow down, bow down, before the power of Santa or be crushed, be crushed, by... his jolly boots of doom!
Zim: [after laughing for some while] That's a good one! "Help you!" Why should I help you?
Dib: Hey! I helped you when we were transforming into giant bolognes!
Zim: YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!!!!!
Dib: Hey! I helped you when we were transforming into giant bolognes!
Zim: YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!!!!!
Zim: [to alien] But I need to get back to my mission! My precious MISSION! What about them, huh? Gimme some of those! [snatches alien's fries]
Zim: So, I say, "You want some of this?" And she says, she says, right back at me, she says-
Alien: Who are you, and why are you talking to me?
Zim: So, I say, "You want some of this?" And she says, she says, right back at me, she says-
Alien: Who are you, and why are you talking to me?
Zim: Fool! My fellow hideous inferior human pig smellies are insulted by this constant slander!