Blair: How do you manage to get out of everything unscathed?
Serena: Because I'm nice. You should try it sometime. C'mon, um, compliment me, tell me my hair looks beautiful.
Blair: But your hair looks disgusting. Did you even shower today?

Blair: If you didn't pay your rent with it, what did you do with Chuck's money?
Vanessa: I may have created a medical grant for teens with genital herpes. In his name.

Blair: Is that a bong, Mother? I didn't take you for a stoner...

Blair: Is there a reason you're here?
Serena: Stay. Don't let these things make you run away like it did me. Like it does everybody in our world.
Blair: Every thing's horrible. My whole life is falling apart.
Serena: So, rebuild it. You're a Waldorf, remember? People don't tell you who you are, you tell them. Stay and fight. I'll fight with you.
Blair: I'm so embarrassed. I'm so...
Serena: So, what? Start over. It can be done, I should know. We can get through this together.
Blair: Promise?
Serena: Promise. [hugs Blair]

Blair: Martini?
Jenny: No thanks, I don't like vodka.
Blair: Well, that's good. Because this is gin, as it should be.

Blair: My, my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes.
Jenny: I came to tell you in person. You win.
Blair: Oh, sweetie, we just started to play.
Jenny: No, you don't understand. I'm done. With you, with them - all of it.
Blair: Just like that, you wave the white flag.
Jenny: I lied. And I stole and I lost the respect of my family. For what, so I can be like you? You asked me before if it was all worth it. And my answer is, it's not.
Blair: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like you couldn't afford it.
Jenny: Well, you were right.
Blair: [sighs] Well, you put up a good fight. For a freshman.
Jenny: Thanks.
Blair: [sarcastically] Hope you don't expect a hug.
Jenny: I don't expect anything anymore.

Blair: No one ever enjoys their first time.
Chuck: Except you.

Blair: So, I heard on Gossip Girl that you were having sex with Dan out here...in streaming video.
Serena: Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?
Blair: Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.
Serena: I must say, Dan has been surprisingly good at everything we've done.
Blair: Which is? Everything?
Serena: No! But, feel free to ask any personal questions.
Blair: But you've talked about it, right?
Serena: No, mom! We haven't.
Blair: May I remind you that this is your first real boyfriend, S. And in relationships, you talk about stuff.
Serena: I know, but, I don't know. Sometimes talking about it or planning it can ruin a good thing, you know?
Blair: I would know. Well, as long as you're not worried.
Serena: Well, I'm not. But, I don't know, he might be. Is it possible for a guy to want to slow things down?
Blair: Only the guys we like. [They both laugh] But with you, I can't imagine why.

Blair: There, there Georgie. It's going to be okay.
Georgina's Mom: No. This time it won't.
Blair: Or it won't. Your parents were so worried G. They told me everything. How you were supposed to be on the Equestrian Circuit but sold your show pony for cocaine.
Georgina: That was a difficult time... but I put that behind me.
Blair: When? When you were in rehab? It's hard to get cleaned when you hitch-hike in a town, steal a credit card, and book a ticket to Ibiza.
Georgina: You didn't see where they sent me. I mean, that place was awful. It was..it was in Utah. At least I lasted longer than Lohan.

Blair: What are you doing here, Nate?
Nate: Well, I, um... Look, you know, after rehearsal I just, uh, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I mean, the ball's something we've talked about doing together since we were, like ten years old. And I've given you every reason to hate me.
Blair: True. Keep going.
Nate: And the Prince, he's a great dancer and all. But, is there any chance you'd go with me instead? For old times' sake.
Blair: Nate, after what you pulled on my birthday, the only thing we should be doing together is moving on.
Nate: Yeah, I know. [Pause] Look, I haven't worn this sweater since forever. I just pulled it off, and I found this. [Shows Blair the heart pin]
Blair: It's my pin. I sewed it there so you would always have my heart on your sleeve.
Nate: I know. I figured you might want it back or something.
Blair: No! It was a gift. [Considers Nate's offer] The Prince will understand. Maybe we should go to the ball together... as friends.
Nate: Absolutely.
Blair: But only as friends.
Nate: Just friends.

Blair: What are you doing here? [Referring to Dan] Do I smell pork... and cheese? [To Serena] Okay, well, when you're done with your charity work, why don't you come find me?

Blair: What does she think she's doing?
Serena: She's giving you the perfect opportunity for niceness. C'mon, be nice!
Jenny: Serena, I know you're doing something with Dan tonight. But Blair, um, we're all going to Butter and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?
Serena: She'd be delighted. YES! [Serena claps for excitement] BUTTER!
Jenny: Great.
Serena: Great! [Serena smiling happily]
Blair: Very nice.
Serena: Thank you.

Blair: What happened? What's wrong? Talk to me.
Serena: [Serena starts crying] I can't.
Blair: Of course you can.
Serena: [sobbing] No, no, B, this is the one thing I can't tell you. I can't tell anyone.
Blair: I'm not anyone. I'm me, you can tell me anything.
Serena: [sobbing] No I can't, because then you'll be a part of this and I can't let you be a part of this.
Blair: What are you talking about? You're starting to scare me.
[Serena sobbing]
Blair: Hey, hey, hey, we're sisters. You're my family. What is you is me. There's nothing that you could ever say to make me let go. I love you.
[Serena still crying tries not to answer the question]
Blair: What is it?
Serena: I killed someone.
[Serena stops crying and stares at Blair. Blair is staring back at Serena shocked as ever]

Blair: What was that?
Chuck: I should ask you the same question. Perfect gentleman? Perfect date? That broken record was a hit last year. Get with the times, he bores you.
Blair: You almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point: you can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman. He would never cause a scene.
Chuck: Never get your blood going, either.
Blair: Speaking of going, that's what you should do. Carter Baizen is on his way here, right now.
Chuck: What? What the hell are you doing with Carter Baizen?
Blair: He left his jacket here yesterday and I'd rather you be gone when he got here. There have been enough scenes for today.

Blair: What's happening?
Dorota: You have bad dream and you're sleeping with your chocolate.
Blair: Lady Godiva, my only friend.