Dottie: [Dottie's hair is comming off in clumps] How do you expect to win this debate if you're not prepared?
Killface: Well, how do you expect me to prepare with you sloughing off fuzz like a new towel?

Dottie: I either just had a stroke, or the most brilliant idea ever.
Killface: Well, your blood's too thin for a stroke, so let's hear it.

Dottie: We can't afford an airplane.
Killface: Well, maybe if you'd lay off the platinum-infused highballs.

Dottie: You couldn't pour pee out of a boot if the directions were on the heel.
Wendell: Woman, they had pricing tiers!
Dottie: Oh, go tell it to your albino whores.
Wendell: I...will not even dignify that with a response.
Killface: Yeah, please don't.

Grace: [putting on lipstick] Do you even know how huge this Killface interview will be for me?
Cameraman: So huge your boyfriend will learn your name?
Grace: Why would you even say that?
Cameraman: Because I care about you, we all do.
Grace: Really?
Cameraman: No, we don't.

Grace: [rapidly, holding stolen gems] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Xander: Grace! Open the damn door, it's Xander!
Grace: [tone of Antagone, eyes glowing green] Xander Crews?
Xander: Yes, idiot!
[Grace/Antagone growls]
[Antagone opens door]
Xander Hey fun bags where's my idiot girlfriend?
[Xander gets knocked out]

Grace: For Tense Forth News, I'm Grant Runyon.
Cameraman: No, that time you said "Grant Runyon."
Grace: God, what is wrong with me?
Cameraman: Maybe you should go back to the doctor.
Grace: Maybe you should go back to the doctor.
Cameraman: [the camera is sticking out of his chest] Maybe you should shove your skinny arm up my a-hole and change out this tape!

Grace: Oh my God, Xander, where are you?
Killface: Well, wherever he is, I'm sure he's laughing his fat face off.
[Aboard the Xcalibur, Xander is tied to a chair getting punched by the Xtacles]
X-tacle #1: Who's laughing now, Crews?
Xander: I wasn't laughing before. [Punch]]
X-tacle #2: I'm gonna punch him so friggin' hard.
X-tacle #3: I'm gonna smash his face in!
X-tacle #4: I'm gonna blow him. [Everybody looks at him] UP! Wh... [Walks off] Queers!

Grace: As a Democrat, don't you support a woman's right to choose?
Killface: You mean her right to be a whore?

Grace: If you leave me to burn to death in this plane, we are just finished!
Xander: Well...we'll always have Vegas.
Grace: That wasn't me!
Xander: Well...okay.
[Xander, with Stan on his back, jumps out]
Grace: You bastard! God, still can't stay mad at him! [Jumps out after him]

Grace: [whispering] Psst, Xander.
Killface: Wave to Newslady. [Lamont waves and chirps]
Grace: Hey, you.

Hooker: Oh my God
Xander: I did not mean for her to see this
Hooker: Xander Crews
Xander: Lets go back to the big black thing.
Hooker: You're Awesome-X!

Hooper/Sinn: Greetings, America. (removes helmet) I. . .am. . .Sinn. (Deceptacles gasp in surprise, along with Killface, who is watching from home) And I, with my lover, the Dread Lobster...
Watley: Hi!
Sinn: And my sisters in chaos, Valerie and the supervillainess Antagone--
(Valerie growls and Antagone steps over with a cackle)
Sinn: Who is soon to give birth to what I can only assume will be a giant, hideous ant-baby unwittingly sired by crippled billionaire tycoon Xander Crews--
Xander: (watching in office) God...damn it.
Sinn: Now control the Annihilatrix, and your new President, in office thanks only to a corrupt Supreme Court...
Taqu'il: (watching from the Oval Office) And more specifically, Stephen Breyer. Boosh! (Makes toast with Stan)
Stan: And/or ka-kow!
Sinn: Is powerless to stop me, for backed by the might of the Annihilatrix, the Sisterhood of Chaos now rules the world! And now, back to the Haggar Pants 500.
(Network turns back to stock car race)
Killface: How can she afford a media buy? (Simon mumbles) Still...

Hooper/Sinn: You, Awesome X, are now my prisoner.
Awesome X: Yeah, well, I got your prisoner right here! [Points guns at her] So, swirl that softly and gently around your erect nipples.
Hooper/Sinn: Deceptacles.
[All Deceptacle point guns at Awesome X]
Awesome X: You know...
Deceptacle: [taking X's guns] I'm just gonna hold these...
Awesome X: That's why I never let y'all have a song.

Interviewer: And they are good looking slacks. Are they stain resistant?
Killface: Well, I certianly hope so.
Interviewer: And why's that?
Killface: [shoots Interviewer] ...Because my bird is dead. And now I really shall destroy this VILE PLANET! [Shoots camera]