Maria LaGuerta: So then he must have already had the head with him in the front seat. Huh, that's weird. Why would he keep it there?
Dexter: I don't know. So he could use a carpool lane?

Mike Donovan: I couldn't help myself. I couldn't. Please, you have to understand.
Dexter: Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can't help myself either. But children? I could never do that. Not like you. Never ... ever ... kids.
Mike Donovan: Why?
Dexter: I have standards.

Mindy: So, are you going to go to the spring formal?
Teenage Dexter: Why would I want to do that?
[Hurt, Mindy leaves]
Harry Morgan: She wanted you to ask her to the dance, Dexter.
Teenage Dexter: That's not what she said.
Harry Morgan: Well, you have to learn their signals.
Teenage Dexter: Yeah, well, I don't really care about girls.
Harry Morgan: Oh.
Teenage Dexter: I just like being alone.
Harry Morgan: But most normal people don't, and it's important that you seem normal.
Teenage Dexter: Even though I'm not.
Harry Morgan: Because you're not.

Officer Gerard: Freedom's just another word for one more way to get fucked.

Rita: [about Paul] Fucking bastard!
Dexter: Only you could make those words cute.

Rita: Deb must be a mess. I mean, falling for a serial killer?
Dexter: What are the odds?

Rita: You might even find I can handle the truth.
Dexter: [voiceover] I wish that was the case.

Rudy/Brian: [while gift-wrapping dismembered parts] Deck the halls with parts of bodies, fa la la la la, la la la la.

Rudy/Brian: Debra Morgan, will you marry me?
Debra: I knew it, I fucking knew it!
Rudy/Brian: Is that your version of a yes?

Rudy/Brian: I just wanted to have a beer with you before we got started. Made that kind of difficult.
Dexter: Sorry.
Rudy/Brian: You don't ever have to apologize to me, Dexter. Not for who you are, or anything you do.

Rudy/Brian: Looks just like it used to, doesn't it?
Dexter: Who does it belong to?
Rudy/Brian: Me. I got it for you, actually.
Dexter: I'm really more an apartment person.

Rudy/Brian: You know the one thing I've been dying to ask you? How did you not know who I was? You're a cop.
Debra: This isn't funny.
Rudy/Brian: I think a real cop would at least have a sense she was in the presence of the person she was hunting.

Rudy/Brian: Your victims. Are they all killers?
Dexter: Yes.
Rudy/Brian: Harry teach you that?
Dexter: He taught me a code. To survive.
Rudy/Brian: Like an ... absurd avenger?
Dexter: That's not why I kill.
Rudy/Brian: You can be yourself around me. Who. Am. I?
Dexter: A killer. Without reason or regret. Free.
Rudy/Brian: You can be that way too.
Dexter: But the code ...
Rudy/Brian: [laughs] Dex! You don't have a code. Harry did. Now he's been dead ten years. You can't keep � keep him sitting on your shoulder like Jiminy Fucking Cricket! You need to embrace who you are now.
Dexter: I don't know who I am.
Rudy/Brian: 'Course you don't. You've been away from your family since you were three. But I'm here now. I can help you. We can take this journey together.
Dexter: I can't. Not Deb ...
Rudy/Brian: No � no, don't say that.
Dexter: I'm very ... fond of her.
Rudy/Brian: You can't be a killer and a hero. It doesn't work that way!

Rudy: I mean, Deb's hot and all, but sprinkle in a little conversation once in a while, you know?
Dexter: Well, she's my sister. I don't know.

Scott Solomon: Meridian? Best thing that's ever happened to me ... so far. How about you? You finding him helpful?
Dexter: I'm a sociopath; there's not much he can do for me.
Scott Solomon: Cute and funny. Let me guess, taken?
Dexter: Girlfriend.
Scott Solomon: Lucky girl.