Dexter quotes

468 total quotes



All Seasons
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Astor: Harrison. He doesn't even recognize me.
Dexter: Well you didn't look like a raccoon the last time he saw you.

Astor: I wish that it was just my mom and me and Cody and Harrison, because we all would have been better off if she'd never met you!

Astor: You come along and become a part of the family and we thought everything was going to be good forever. You made us think that! And it's not true; things got worse.

Barry: It's tough looking after somebody else's kid. Sometimes you just gotta show 'em who's boss.
Dexter: Is that what you do with Olivia, show her who's boss?
Barry: What's that supposed to mean?
Dexter: I know about Olivia's bruises. How they're strategically placed so they won't show.
Barry: I don't know what you're talking about.
Dexter: No? Let me show you? [Dexter punches Barry twice in the chest, causing him to gasp and cough in pain] That's your solar plexus. Right now your diaphragm is partially paralyzed which is why you're having trouble catching your breath.
Barry: [coughing] What are you, man? Some kind of psycho?
Dexter: Not today, just a concerned parent. [Punches Barry twice in the side, causing him to gasp further] That's your liver. [Punches him in the liver three more times] The nice thing about the liver is if you hit it just right, you hit the vagus nerve which tentacles out to the rest of your body. [Punches him there twice more] Your brain short-circuits, your body shuts down, and you feel, what's the word? Terror? Which is what Olivia felt every time you hit her there just so the bruises wouldn't show. I want you to listen to me carefully. Listen to me very carefully, because this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna call Olivia's mother, you're gonna tell her you're sick of her fat ass. You can't stand to look at it anymore. And you're gonna make her believe it. Because if you don't, she may take you back one day, and let you near her kid, or mine. And I can't let that happen. [Throws Barry to the ground] You're not even gonna swing by to pick up your stuff, you're just gonna leave. Tomorrow, when I drop Olivia off, you will be gone. If you ever come back, believe me I won't go so easy next time. [Kicks Barry in the side] By the way, that's your kidney. [Walks off. Gets into his car]
Harry: I can't believe it.
Dexter: I don't want to hear it, okay. "This isn't your business, Dexter. Don't get involved, Dexter. You put too much at risk, Dexter."
Harry: That's not what I was going to say. [Dexter looks at him, surprised] I'm proud of you.
Dexter: You are?
Harry: You protected Astor. Put yourself out there for another person. I had no idea you had that in you. I underestimated you, assumed you were a monster. When you were capable of, so much more. If only I'd seen that, maybe I wouldn't have lead you down this path.
[Lumen is at Dexter's house when the house phone rings]

Batista: We've got to re-open this case.
Deb: I know, but I can't tell LaGuerta, I'm supposed to be on file clerk duty.
Masuka: I can't tell LaGuerta; this case was solved. If I ask her to re-open it, I might as well put my balls in a vice and not in a hot way.
Batista: Well that just leaves me.

Brian Moser: Hey, little brother. Miss me?

Deb: Hey you remember me? We used to fuck, you want to have lunch?

Deb: How come you never make the coffee even though you're up first?
Anton: 'Cause I don't want it bad enough to make it.
Deb: I don't even know what to say to that.
Anton: Oh baby, if there was chocolate cake here, I'd eat it, but I sure as hell don't want to bake one.

Deb: I didn't know he had a tenant.
Lumen: I didn't know he had a sister.
[Dexter has recently learned that Barry is beating Olivia]

Deb: I'm starting to think I fucked everyone more than my old man did.

Deb: If you smell me again, I'm going to punch you in the fucking throat.

Deb: You were right. I told him. I fucking told my brother that I love him and he said I love you back. Not me too, or something like that. He actually said I love you.
Dr. Ross: Wow. It's big, isn't it?
Deb: Yeah, I don't think he understood that I'm actually in love with him, but he still said the actual words for the first time.
Dr. Ross: So what do you think it means?
Deb: I don't know what the fuck it means. That's why I'm here. Is this is just horribly wrong?
Dr. Ross: Does it feel wrong?
Deb: It makes my whole life -- every man I've ever loved makes sense. It's like I've always been looking for someone like Dexter, or someone who's the opposite of Dexter, as a way to avoid the fact that I'm in love with him. It's just clear to me. I want it to be clear to him. I want him to understand.

Debra: [after pulling an all-nighter] I found a fucking lead on The Skinner case. It's in the trees! Right, so, we've had our heads up our asses, Sarge. We've been looking down at the bodies, but no one has been looking up!
Angel: ... How much caffeine have you had?
Debra: A metric fuck-ton.
Angel: Well you should stop, its giving you touretts.

Debra: [drinks coffee] Oh sweet Mary mother of fuck, that's good.
Dexter: Think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.

Debra: [eating cake] Hey, you want some? It's Kirk Wylocks' cake.
Doakes: I had some, at Kirk's birthday. 10 days ago. See, if you have lunch every day with your boyfriend, you miss a thing or two around here.
Debra: Cake's still good; it's mocha, I think.
Doakes: It started out vanilla.