CSI: Miami quotes

646 total quotes



[After surviving a flash fire.]
Alexx: Thought I was going to end up wearing a toe-tag on my own table.

[Alexx survived a booby trap bomb.]
Speed: Figured you'd take a sick day.
Alexx: A little excitement doesn't mean life stops... or death.

[Calleigh and Speed are trying to find a counterfeiter's hideout.]
Calleigh: Didn't you use to date a girl at the Department of Water and Power?
Speed: I did, a long time ago, she hates me, why?
Calleigh: Well, it's just that it takes an awful lot of juice to run an offset printer, and the electrical bill of our counterfeit house would be...spiking...It's not that tough to ask...even if she hates you.

[Calleigh and Speed are watching a "hot" video tape, strictly for business purposes.]
Speed: Well, that's different.
Calleigh: Someone's been doing yoga.
Co-worker: You guys have a stapler?
Calleigh: No, but you are the third one to ask in the last 10 minutes. Do you want us to burn you a copy?

[Calleigh and Speed go through a pornstar's apartment.]
Speed: She's got to have her own aisle at the video store.
Calleigh: You know, Valera said she's famous.
Speed: Well, Valera would know.

[Calleigh and Valera talk about the victim, who is a porn star.]
Valera: Have you seen Ashley Anders' movies?
Calleigh: Me? Where do I see them?
Valera: Oh, clubs, parties.... You know, out.
Calleigh: No, I don't think you and I are going to the same places, Valera.
Valera: Porn's the new Martini, no one's hiding their vices anymore.

[Eric inspects the plane wreckage.]
Eric: I've got a scrape here.
Speed: Yeah, you're going to have a few scrapes, the plane crashed.

[Eric is going over a "peeping Tom's" videos.]
Calleigh: Reality TV, can I watch?
Eric: Yeah, have a seat.
Calleigh: Tell me when I have to look away.
Eric: That's the thing, you never have to.
Calleigh: What are you telling me?
Eric: That Jeff Lathan should probably see a doctor about the little blue pill.
Calleigh: Oh! That explains why he didn't want us to watch the tape.

[Eric's eyes hurt after surviving a flash fire.]
Tripp: Eric, worst thing you can do is rub it.
Eric: Yeah, I know, Frank. You know, when you get caught in a flash over, then tell me that.

[Frank and Calleigh reenact a concert shooting.]
Calleigh: Can you be my bodyguard?
Tripp: Only if I can call you Whitney.

[Horatio has just cracked the case.]
Danny Cato (a movie star): I'm still one big hurdle ahead of you.
Horatio: What would that be?
Danny Cato: The jury. I'm a star, kimosabe, I can convince 12 people of anything.
Horatio: You haven't convinced me, my friend, and that's not a good start.

[Horatio inquires about a prostitute witness.]
Horatio: What's her name?
Gary: Like they give you the real one.
Speed: We'll take a fake one and a location.

[Horatio interrogates an adult film company owner.]
Jeffers' Lawyer: My client is a prominent businessman with strong ties to the community, he has a family and 3 little girls.
Horatio: Will they be appearing in your films, Mr. Jeffers, when they grow up? Just out of curiosity.

[Horatio walks out on Calleigh, without saying anything, after coming to a conclusion.]
Calleigh: Okay! Bye! Keep me posted!

[One of the bodies in a morgue freezer comes back to life.]
Alexx: It's Alexx, are there any Rescue Units in the building? I need a crew in the autopsy theater immediately, I've got a live one.