CSI: Miami quotes

646 total quotes



Horatio: The victims were decoys, he's after the Bomb Squad.

Horatio: There are no other crime scenes in Miami today.

Horatio: This cocaine did not come from Haiti.
Speed: Not unless Haiti is in the middle of our crime lab.

Horatio: We are still missing a component: the Action Switch isn't here.
Speed: We covered that scene on our hands and knees, we covered it all.
Horatio: [Giving Speed a serious stare] Let me say it again: it's not here!

Horatio: You see, I think if we connect these two cases, we'll have a shot at probable cause.
Tripp: The probable cause is that she's a stripper, she's a junkie, and she's a whore.
Horatio: She's also a human being.
Tripp: And now she's a corpse.

Horatio: You used boiled noodles.
Calleigh: For brain spatter it's either that or oysters.

Horatio: Your average adult has been clocked at two-and-a-half to three miles per hour, but to my knowledge, no toddler has ever been road-tested.

Jack Seeger: Duquesne, you're up.
Calleigh: I've got one more knock-and-talk and then I'm all yours.
Jack Seeger: Don't make me call Lieutenant Caine.
Calleigh: I wouldn't make my Lieutenant take a call from you.

Jim Tigerfish: What the hell is this?
Speed: That's a warrant to search the premises.
Jim Tigerfish: For what?
Speed: For items looted from an air-crash site. What'd you think, you were going to sell them on eBay?

Jimmy Fukes: You're not going to be able to prove a thing.
Horatio Caine: That is a very dumb thing to say to a CSI.

Law Student: Excuse me.
Speed: Yeah, can I help you?
Law Student: Look, I'm a third-year law student from U. of M.
Speed: Congratulations.
Law Student: And I know that it's illegal for you guys to keep us here.
Eric: You know what? You're right, actually, but as a human being, I think you have an obligation to cooperate like everyone else. So why don't you get back in line for me, okay? Thank you.

Megan: Horatio, what are you doing?
Horatio: I'm giving Al's wife his wedding ring back.
Megan: That's evidence.
Horatio: I know that.
Megan: You can't just give it away!
Horatio: I'm not giving it away. I'm givin' it back.

Megan: Nice thing about hair, it grows at an even rate, about a half-an-inch a month.
Speed: Gives us a nice time line.
Megan: Yeah, she'd been using antidepressants for the past year, Prozac and Zoloft. Six months ago, she smoked some pot.
Speed: And they say blondes have more fun.

Megan: Thin epidermis, lots of blood vessels and the sebaceous glands are separate from the hair follicles. We're talking penis-- tore off.
Speed: Ouch.
Megan: You might want to get a good hold of yourself.
Speed: Why?
Megan: Still have to chop it up; confirm it's Paul's.
Speed: Oh...

Megan: Who would want to kill a priest?
Horatio: Nowadays...anyone.