Castle: [his murder theory] You see him every day, only you never notice him. But he noticed Sara. She's young, beautiful, the kind of girl that a guy like him would never have a chance with. We all know girls like that don't we? Well, at first, it's just a game. Figure out her schedule. When does she do her laundry? When is she alone? Until it becomes something more, something that he can't control. Well, he uses the stairs, obviously, to avoid the elevator's cameras. And then he just waits, concealed in the shadows. When she comes into that laundry room, he pounces. When he looked into her vacant, lifeless eyes, he wanted to tell her he never meant to kill her. All he ever wanted was to be noticed. That's when he felt the heat of that dryer on his skin. So he picks up her limp body in his arms and gently places it inside. He almost smiled at his good fortune when he found the quarter in his pocket, slipping it into the slot. Buying him the time to do what he does best... disappear.
[pauses, then continues] Just saying, better story. Coffee?

Castle: [In order to get Brandon to admit to his crime] If only Max had been strong enough just to man up... If only Donny realized he didn't belong with you guys anymore, he and Amanda were through, well, then none of this would have been necessary. (Lowered voice) Weak people just don't get it, do they, Brandon? Sometimes they just have to be led to the truth.
Brandon: (Whispers) Exactly. [Unknowingly admitting to his crime]
Castle: [Smiling at Beckett] Did he just say "exactly"?

Castle: [on CIA Agent Gray] This man is a machine. I've interviewed serial killers, hitmen. Agent Gray?
Beckett: Mm-hmm?
Castle: By far, the most dangerous man I've ever met. [looks around and whispers] He once killed a North Korean agent with a melonballer.
Agent Gray: [suddenly appearing behind them] It was an ice cream scoop, Castle. And that information was supposed to remain private.
Castle: Sorry.

Castle: [Regarding Alexis' date] Boy, I can't believe my little girl is going to prom... my only comfort now is the long-standing tradition of torturing the boyfriend.
Beckett: What do you mean?
Castle: You know, the time-honored hazing that goes on in those few moments we share, where he and I are alone, just before my daughter descends the stairs.
Ryan: I remember the terror of meeting my date's old man.
Castle: What did he do?
Ryan: Checked my wallet for condoms, showed me his gun collection, my hands were shaking so bad I could barely put on the corsage.
Castle: [to Beckett] What did your dad do?
Beckett: [pause] I... I don't know. I was in my room.
Castle: How was your date when you finally came out?
Beckett: You know what, now that you mention it, he looked terrified. [Castle and Ryan nod] And this whole time I though he was scared of me.
Castle: Nope! And now it's my turn...
Ryan: What are you planning?
Castle: Something befitting the name of 'Castle'...

Castle: [to Alexis] If any of those senior boys bother you... father won't be quite himself. [activates pumpkin drill, laughs maniacally, coughs]

Castle: [to Beckett] Well, you're not bridge and tunnel. No trace of the boroughs when you talk, so that means Manhattan, that means money. You went to college, probably a pretty good one. You had options. Yeah, you had lots of options, better options, more socially acceptable options, and you still chose this. That tells me something happened. Not to you. No, you're wounded, but you're not that wounded. No, it was somebody you cared about. It was someone you loved. And you probably could have lived with that, but the person responsible was never caught. [realizing he's overstepped] And that, Detective Beckett, is why you're here.
Beckett: Cute trick. Don't think you know me.
Castle: [hesitant] The point is, there's always a story... you just have to find it.

Castle: [to his daughter Alexis] I just want someone to come up to me and say something new.
Beckett: Mr. Castle?
Castle: [turning around holding a pen ready to give an autograph] Where would you like it?
Beckett: [holding badge] Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight.
Alexis: [taking the pen from him] That's new.

Castle: All right, so you and I are married.
Beckett: We are not married.
Castle: Relax, it's just pretend.
Beckett: I don't wanna pretend.
Castle: Scared you'll like it?
Beckett: Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce.
Apartment Guy: Are you two like this all the time?
Castle & Beckett: Yes.

Castle: Ask me why I'm here.
Beckett: You know, I ask myself that question every day.

Castle: Do you believe that people get what they deserve?
Beckett: Well, if they do then I must have done something pretty terrible to be punished with you.
Castle: Funny.

Castle: Do you keep former guests in the system?
Sullivan: That's how we flag gamblers with priors.
Castle: What about me?
Sullivan: Let's see. Richard Castle. Resident New York City. Disorderly conduct, resisting arrest in 2003. And, uh, wow. Apparently last time you were at the Sapphire, you accidentally set a mattress on fire and the drapes were covered in jam.
Castle: (Laughing.) That was a good fun night.

Castle: Do you know what Lanie and Esposito were fighting about?
Kate: Everything. They both want to be together but neither of them wants to admit to it.
Castle: Ugh, why do people do that to themselves?
Kate: Maybe they just don't see it.
Castle: How could they not? It's so obvious.

Castle: Don't we usually get to the victim before the funeral?
Beckett: What have we got?
Esposito: Mourners found a body in the caskett
Castle: And that's unusual how?
Esposito: Well, the family was bidding a fond farewell to Mr. Mank here and discovered that he wasn't going to the grave alone.
Castle: Is it just me, or is Mr. Mank smiling?

Castle: He wants to learn more about my writing process.
Martha: And by "writing process" you mean your procrastination until the very last second...
Alexis: And then writing out of a desperate panic in a caffeine-induced haze.
Martha: That one?
Castle: No, not that one. [Alexis giggles] The one where I find authenticity by doing hands-on research with the NYPD.

Castle: How do you know you're in love?
Beckett: All the songs make sense.