Xander: Which is another secret to conscientious egg care. A pot of scalding water and about eight minutes.
Willow: You boiled your young?
Giles: I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression.
Xander: I resent that! Or possibly thank you.
Giles: A little of both might be appropriate.

Xander: Whoa! Giles has a TV! Everybody... Giles has a TV, he's shallow like us!

Xander: Why blood? Why Dawn's blood? Why couldn't it be like a-a lymph ritual or something?
Spike: 'Cause it's always got to be blood.
Xander: We're not actually discussing dinner right now.
Spike: Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead. 'Course it's her blood.

Xander: Why did we ever agree to have your friends, who are demons, and my family, who are monsters, stay at our place?
Anya: Well, I can only do so much, Xander. Planning this marriage is like staging the invasion of Normandy.
Xander: Without the laughs.

Xander: Why would a vampire lie about who sired him? What's that? Some kind of status symbol for the undead? My sire can beat up your sire.

Xander: Yep, yep, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night, it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores?
Buffy: He was alone.
Xander: Give it time.

Xander: You and Willow go do the superpower thing. I'll stay behind and putter around the bat cave with crusty old Alfred here.
Giles: Ah, no. I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a job.

Xander: You don't know how to kill this thing.
Buffy: I thought I might try violence.
Xander: Solid call.

Xander: You don't understand. This isn't an intervention. Buffy's coming to kill you.
Anya: She's coming to try.
Xander [exasperated]: Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today? You guys are friends! How could you talk like this?
Anya: I have a job to do. And so does Buffy. Xander, you've always seen what you wanted to but you knew, sooner or later, it would come to this.

Xander: You know how some people hate to say I told you so? Not me. I told you so. Angel's back in the really bad sense, and um, I told you so.
Wesley: Angelus has turned? Xander, this is terribly serious. Are you sure?
Xander: Gee, let me think. Kind of hard to tell. Last thing I remember was his fist.
Wesley: We must contact Giles immediately.
Xander: Good thinking. Let's waste time with a lively debate. Leave Buffy alone, and see how dead she gets.
Cordelia: Slow down, Xander. This isn't Wesley's fault.
Xander: Actually, it is. Faith was your responsibility. Guess who's Angel's new playmate?
Willow: Faith and Angel? Together?
Xander: Imagine the possibilities.

Xander: You know, maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell, curse and whammy thing. Maybe what we should be looking for is something like... Slayer kryptonite.
Oz: Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills.
Xander: You're assuming I was talking about the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of all his powers.
Oz: Wrong. The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird --
Buffy: Guys, reality!

Young Buffy: Do you like dolls?
Willow: No, and I think we already deja'd this vu.
Young Buffy: You talk funny.
Willow: Yes, as you will tell me again when we are older and in chem class.

Young Woman Vampire: Is that all I was to you, a one-bite stand?

["Something to Sing About"]
Spike: Life's not a song; Life isn't bliss. Life is just this. It's living You'll get along The pain that you feel You only can heal By living You have to go on living So one of us is living.
Dawn: The hardest thing in this world... is to live in it.

[A bloodied and exhausted Spike lies on the ground in the cave]
Cave Demon: You have completed the required challenges.
Spike: Bloody right I have. Now give me what I came for. Make me what I was so Buffy can get what she deserves.
Cave Demon: Very well. [places his hand on Spike's chest] We will return...your soul.
[A light flashes on Spike's chest as he screams in pain]
Season 7