Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesButt-head: See, look inside this dude's nose.
Beavis: I know. It's cool. Dumbass
Butt-head: Well, boogers and stuff are pretty cool, but the hair isn't very cool.
Beavis: I dunno. I think it's cool.
Butt-head: Yeah, but it's like, if you wanna rule, you gotta be cool, like, all the time, like, even when you're taking a dump and stuff, like GWAR.
Beavis: Oh. I wasn't saying they were as cool as GWAR. But they still rule! They rule! They rule! They kick ass!
Metallica, One
Beavis: I know. It's cool. Dumbass
Butt-head: Well, boogers and stuff are pretty cool, but the hair isn't very cool.
Beavis: I dunno. I think it's cool.
Butt-head: Yeah, but it's like, if you wanna rule, you gotta be cool, like, all the time, like, even when you're taking a dump and stuff, like GWAR.
Beavis: Oh. I wasn't saying they were as cool as GWAR. But they still rule! They rule! They rule! They kick ass!
Metallica, One
Butt-head: She looks like that chick in the mall.
Beavis: Chicken what?
Butt-head: That chick in the mall!
Beavis: That chicken? What do you mean?
Butt-head: No, asswipe! I'm talking about that chick!
Beavis: Oh, you mean that chick who works at Chick-fil-A? That chicken place?
Butt-head: What's your problem, Beavis? I'm not talking about chicken! Pull your thumb out of your ear and back into your butt!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head! You did talk about chicken! You said that chicken mall!
Beavis: Chicken what?
Butt-head: That chick in the mall!
Beavis: That chicken? What do you mean?
Butt-head: No, asswipe! I'm talking about that chick!
Beavis: Oh, you mean that chick who works at Chick-fil-A? That chicken place?
Butt-head: What's your problem, Beavis? I'm not talking about chicken! Pull your thumb out of your ear and back into your butt!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head! You did talk about chicken! You said that chicken mall!
Butt-head: She's married to that short, old guy.
Beavis: Oh yeah. That guy from Africa that used to be in The Beatles.
Beavis: Oh yeah. That guy from Africa that used to be in The Beatles.
Butt-head: So here's a quarter. Could you like get one of those things, you put in your thing, when you got your thing.
Woman punches Butt-head.
Woman punches Butt-head.
Butt-head: So if you were on a desert island, and you could only bring three things, what would you bring?
Beavis: Well, let me think. I'd bring some crackers, so I'd have something to eat. And then I'd bring a swimsuit, so I could go swimming. And I'd bring some Cheez Whiz to put on the crackers.
Butt-head: That would be cool.
Beavis: Well, let me think. I'd bring some crackers, so I'd have something to eat. And then I'd bring a swimsuit, so I could go swimming. And I'd bring some Cheez Whiz to put on the crackers.
Butt-head: That would be cool.
Butt-head: So like, the sign at the beginning said "violence", and the band's name is Hole, and it's like, we aren't seeing any violence or any hole.
Beavis: Yeah, really! That sucks!
Butt-head: Yeah. They need to like, show a big, violent butthole.
Beavis: I'll show you my butthole if you want. [Butt-head slaps Beavis across both sides of his face] Ow!
Beavis: Yeah, really! That sucks!
Butt-head: Yeah. They need to like, show a big, violent butthole.
Beavis: I'll show you my butthole if you want. [Butt-head slaps Beavis across both sides of his face] Ow!
Butt-head: So, like...why the hell is she hanging out with these wussies?
Beavis: Yeah, I thought that like, if you're a bitch...that you'd be like into something like more hardcore.
Butt-head: Uh...I think sometimes, if you're a bitch, you listen to crap like this.
Beavis: Yeah, like, maybe she doesn't even like it, but she just like, plays this stuff just to piss people off...because she's a bitch!
Butt-head: Yeah. Bitches are cool.
Beavis: Bitches rule!
Slayer, Seasons In the Abyss
Beavis: Yeah, I thought that like, if you're a bitch...that you'd be like into something like more hardcore.
Butt-head: Uh...I think sometimes, if you're a bitch, you listen to crap like this.
Beavis: Yeah, like, maybe she doesn't even like it, but she just like, plays this stuff just to piss people off...because she's a bitch!
Butt-head: Yeah. Bitches are cool.
Beavis: Bitches rule!
Slayer, Seasons In the Abyss
Butt-head: Some day, we're gonna have wheels just like Todd.
Beavis: Yeah, then we can, like, drive chicks to school.
Butt-head: You dumbass! If we ever get a car and chicks, we're not going anywhere near a school.
Beavis: Yeah, then we can, like, drive chicks to school.
Butt-head: You dumbass! If we ever get a car and chicks, we're not going anywhere near a school.
Butt-Head: Tattoos are cool.
Beavis: Yeah yeah! I'm gonna get one!
Butt-Head: You could have "I'm a puss" tattoo on your butt.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head!
Beavis: Yeah yeah! I'm gonna get one!
Butt-Head: You could have "I'm a puss" tattoo on your butt.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head!
Butt-head: That dude looks like Heidi Fleiss.
Beavis: Oh yeah.
Butt-head: She's skanky.
Beavis: Yeah, and she's ugly.
Butt-head: She's what you call fugly.
Beavis: She's a fugly, skanky whore.
Butt-head: That wasn't very nice, Beavis.
Beavis: Oh yeah. Sorry about that.
Beavis: Oh yeah.
Butt-head: She's skanky.
Beavis: Yeah, and she's ugly.
Butt-head: She's what you call fugly.
Beavis: She's a fugly, skanky whore.
Butt-head: That wasn't very nice, Beavis.
Beavis: Oh yeah. Sorry about that.
Butt-head: That guy has a disease.
Beavis: Yeah. He's got wussy-itis.
Butt-head: First it causes your hair to turn red, then your butt falls off.
Beavis: Yeah. He's got wussy-itis.
Butt-head: First it causes your hair to turn red, then your butt falls off.
Butt-head: That guy makes faces like Eddie Vedder.
Beavis: No way! Eddie Vedder makes faces like this guy.
Butt-head: They both make faces like that John Belushi dude.
Beavis: Yeah. And he's dead.
Butt-head: I heard these guys came first, and then Pearl Jam ripped them off.
Beavis: No way, Butt-head! Pearl Jam came first!
Butt-head: Uh, well, they both suck.
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, Pearl Jam doesn't suck, they're from Seattle.
Butt-head: Oh yeah.
[a rottweiler is seen in the video]
Beavis: No way! Eddie Vedder makes faces like this guy.
Butt-head: They both make faces like that John Belushi dude.
Beavis: Yeah. And he's dead.
Butt-head: I heard these guys came first, and then Pearl Jam ripped them off.
Beavis: No way, Butt-head! Pearl Jam came first!
Butt-head: Uh, well, they both suck.
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, Pearl Jam doesn't suck, they're from Seattle.
Butt-head: Oh yeah.
[a rottweiler is seen in the video]
Butt-head: That James Hetfield dude looks like the Cowardly Lion.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! He kicks ass!
Butt-head: The Cowardly Lion sucks, Beavis.
Beavis: I was talking about James Hetfield! He rules!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! He kicks ass!
Butt-head: The Cowardly Lion sucks, Beavis.
Beavis: I was talking about James Hetfield! He rules!