Arrested Development quotes
177 total quotesMarta: I just couldn't find my keys.
Michael: Well, my brother may have eaten them.
Michael: Well, my brother may have eaten them.
Michael: (to Lucille) Oh, um ... there's a big bowl of candy in my office. Why don't you go eat it?
Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office.
Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office.
Michael: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
Michael: Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stroke your ego. You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.
Lindsay: The wetlands.
Michael: To do what with them?
Lindsay: Dry them.
Michael: Save them.
Lindsay: From drying.
Lindsay: The wetlands.
Michael: To do what with them?
Lindsay: Dry them.
Michael: Save them.
Lindsay: From drying.
Michael: Did I just wake you up? I didn't even know you were home.
Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.
Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.
Michael: Hey, Mom. Remember we had that conversation about trying to cut back on things that aren't necessities?
Lucille: Like it was yesterday.
Michael: It was this morning.
Lucille: Like it was yesterday.
Michael: It was this morning.
Michael: Hey, speaking of kidding, How serious are you about Marta? I get the sense that there's not much of a future there. Am I reading that right?
G.O.B: [from inside the prison] Let me ask you something. How would you feel if I came down on you hard?
Michael: You're saying I'm not reading this right.
G.O.B: No, I'm saying move the bike. I need to jump on you to break my fall.
G.O.B: [from inside the prison] Let me ask you something. How would you feel if I came down on you hard?
Michael: You're saying I'm not reading this right.
G.O.B: No, I'm saying move the bike. I need to jump on you to break my fall.
Michael: I can't believe she got that driver's license renewed.
G.O.B: She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking �albino�� in the form.
G.O.B: She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking �albino�� in the form.
Michael: I might not be the best witness either. I got a call from Kitty this morning.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Your secretary?
George Sr.: My secretary.
Michael: She says that she's got some evidence and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands.
Gob: Oh, that is just great. Now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's "Oh, let's have Gob [bleep] our way out of it."
Barry Zuckerkorn: Your secretary?
George Sr.: My secretary.
Michael: She says that she's got some evidence and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands.
Gob: Oh, that is just great. Now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's "Oh, let's have Gob [bleep] our way out of it."
Michael: I thought Buster had everything under control. I thought you've been going in to the office.
Buster: Yes, and I've enjoyed that. It's just that I was constantly being called to the phone, or I was asked a question, or I was being resuscitated and it was really hard to get a good work flow going.
Buster: Yes, and I've enjoyed that. It's just that I was constantly being called to the phone, or I was asked a question, or I was being resuscitated and it was really hard to get a good work flow going.
Michael: I'm a saint, you know. I'm a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it.
Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority
Michael: That is nice, but this time it's not enough.
Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority
Michael: That is nice, but this time it's not enough.
Michael: I'm not a one-night stand kinda guy, I don't like lying to women.
Gob: These are lawyers. That's Latin for liar.
Gob: These are lawyers. That's Latin for liar.
Michael: Lindsay, new outfit?
Lindsay: This? No, I've had this for years. I think it's a hand-me-down from Mom.
Michael: You got a price tag. Right there.
Lindsay: Is there? I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. And where did you get that outfit?
Lindsay: Old thing got it for me.
Lindsay: This? No, I've had this for years. I think it's a hand-me-down from Mom.
Michael: You got a price tag. Right there.
Lindsay: Is there? I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. And where did you get that outfit?
Lindsay: Old thing got it for me.
Michael: Okay, guys, um... they are going to keep Dad in prison at least until this gets all sorted out. Also, the attorney said that they're going to have to put a halt on the company's expense account. [The others gasp.] Interesting. I would've expected that after "They're keeping Dad in jail."