Arrested Development quotes
177 total quotesLucille Bluth: I'll be in the hospital bar.
Michael: Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals. [Cackles at her own wit]
Michael: Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals. [Cackles at her own wit]
Lucille: [to Lindsay] I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.
Lucille: I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.
Michael: Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?
Michael: Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?
Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina Tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
Lucille: If you're saying I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all my children equally.
[Flashback to that morning]
Lucille: I don't care for Gob.
[Flashback to that morning]
Lucille: I don't care for Gob.
Lucille: Is this why you wanted to fight this thing? So you could run off with this great redwood of a whore?
Lucille: Supposedly, Luz had to take her daughter to the hospital. That's Lupe, her sister.
Michael: I hope she's okay.
Lucille: She's awful. Can barely wash a dish.
Michael: I hope she's okay.
Lucille: She's awful. Can barely wash a dish.
Lucille: What'd she do, get you drunk?
Michael: No, we just, uh, well... we -- we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh... her words.
Michael: No, we just, uh, well... we -- we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh... her words.
Lucille: You're the only one who chose a spouse I liked and she had to die.
Michael: I know, that's rough for you.
Michael: I know, that's rough for you.
Maeby: [working with Lucille] This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.
Maeby: [working with Lucille] Well, we can go get some ice cream, Gangee. That would be fun, right?
Lucille: I don't think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.
Lucille: I don't think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.
Man at the store: May I help you?
Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather."
Man: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?
Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather."
Man: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?