Arrested Development quotes
177 total quotesMichael: [looking at a gift basket] Didn't you get one of those, too? You bought Lindsay at the same auction.
Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Michael: [to Gob] Get rid of the Seaward.
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.
Michael: Besides, I already got George Michael the big present for his birthday...
George Michael: A suit! Dad, is it Jack Welch?
Michael: I want you to look under the pants.
George Michael: Quicken! Premiere! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
Michael: You want to return that?
George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it.
George Michael: A suit! Dad, is it Jack Welch?
Michael: I want you to look under the pants.
George Michael: Quicken! Premiere! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
Michael: You want to return that?
George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it.
Michael: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
Michael: Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange?
Buster: Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!
Michael: I've opened a door here that I regret.
Lucille: Oh, he's just talking about his stupid turtle.
Buster: She has a name, Mother, and it's Mother.
Buster: Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!
Michael: I've opened a door here that I regret.
Lucille: Oh, he's just talking about his stupid turtle.
Buster: She has a name, Mother, and it's Mother.
Michael: Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stroke your ego. You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.
Lindsay: The wetlands.
Michael: To do what with them?
Lindsay: Dry them.
Michael: Save them.
Lindsay: From drying.
Lindsay: The wetlands.
Michael: To do what with them?
Lindsay: Dry them.
Michael: Save them.
Lindsay: From drying.
Michael: Did I just wake you up? I didn't even know you were home.
Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.
Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.
Michael: Great. I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me. I would pay you.
Rita: You'll pay me?
Michael: Not... not for sex. You're going to think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right? Didn't he kill prostitutes or...?
Rita: I'm not a prostitute.
Michael: Then I shall let you live.
Rita: You'll pay me?
Michael: Not... not for sex. You're going to think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right? Didn't he kill prostitutes or...?
Rita: I'm not a prostitute.
Michael: Then I shall let you live.
Michael: Hey, Mom. Remember we had that conversation about trying to cut back on things that aren't necessities?
Lucille: Like it was yesterday.
Michael: It was this morning.
Lucille: Like it was yesterday.
Michael: It was this morning.
Michael: Hey, speaking of kidding, How serious are you about Marta? I get the sense that there's not much of a future there. Am I reading that right?
G.O.B: [from inside the prison] Let me ask you something. How would you feel if I came down on you hard?
Michael: You're saying I'm not reading this right.
G.O.B: No, I'm saying move the bike. I need to jump on you to break my fall.
G.O.B: [from inside the prison] Let me ask you something. How would you feel if I came down on you hard?
Michael: You're saying I'm not reading this right.
G.O.B: No, I'm saying move the bike. I need to jump on you to break my fall.
Michael: I can't believe she got that driver's license renewed.
G.O.B: She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking �albino�� in the form.
G.O.B: She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking �albino�� in the form.
Michael: I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: [entering, to Lindsay] There's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael Okay, but that's the last one.
Tobias: [entering, to Lindsay] There's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael Okay, but that's the last one.
Michael: I might not be the best witness either. I got a call from Kitty this morning.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Your secretary?
George Sr.: My secretary.
Michael: She says that she's got some evidence and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands.
Gob: Oh, that is just great. Now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's "Oh, let's have Gob [bleep] our way out of it."
Barry Zuckerkorn: Your secretary?
George Sr.: My secretary.
Michael: She says that she's got some evidence and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands.
Gob: Oh, that is just great. Now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's "Oh, let's have Gob [bleep] our way out of it."
Michael: I think George Michael's hiding Ann in the attic.
Lindsay: From who? The Nazis?
Lindsay: From who? The Nazis?