Arrested Development quotes
177 total quotesLucille: My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you.
Michael: Well, now I'm a little sicker.
Michael: Well, now I'm a little sicker.
Lucille: Oh, please. I've been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol's the reason I'm here, I got news for you, bub. It's the only reason you're here, too.
Michael: Hey, look at that. You're mean sober, too.
Michael: Hey, look at that. You're mean sober, too.
Lucille: She'd love to get at me any way she could. That's why she's been flirting with Gob. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob.
Michael: I think that makes the joke on Gob.
Michael: I think that makes the joke on Gob.
Lucille: Supposedly, Luz had to take her daughter to the hospital. That's Lupe, her sister.
Michael: I hope she's okay.
Lucille: She's awful. Can barely wash a dish.
Michael: I hope she's okay.
Lucille: She's awful. Can barely wash a dish.
Lucille: What'd she do, get you drunk?
Michael: No, we just, uh, well... we -- we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh... her words.
Michael: No, we just, uh, well... we -- we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh... her words.
Lucille: You're the only one who chose a spouse I liked and she had to die.
Michael: I know, that's rough for you.
Michael: I know, that's rough for you.
Maeby: [working with Lucille] This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.
Maeby: [working with Lucille] Well, we can go get some ice cream, Gangee. That would be fun, right?
Lucille: I don't think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.
Lucille: I don't think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.
Maeby: Is there any way I can divorce them?
Barry: Oh, sure. It's called emancipation. But you've got to prove that you're living in an unstable environment.
Maeby: Both my parents are trying to have affairs. Of course, they haven't succeeded yet.
Barry: Oh, sure. It's called emancipation. But you've got to prove that you're living in an unstable environment.
Maeby: Both my parents are trying to have affairs. Of course, they haven't succeeded yet.
Man at the store: May I help you?
Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather."
Man: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?
Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather."
Man: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?
Marta: I just couldn't find my keys.
Michael: Well, my brother may have eaten them.
Michael: Well, my brother may have eaten them.
Michael [to Buster]: Maybe it's time you got out there and started meeting people. You know? Meeting women. Meeting women who didn't give birth to you.
Michael: (to Lucille) Oh, um ... there's a big bowl of candy in my office. Why don't you go eat it?
Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office.
Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office.