Arrested Development quotes

177 total quotes



All Seasons
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Lucille 2: Buster, this is exactly why our relationship does not work.
Buster: Our relationship doesn't work?
Lucille 2: No, not as long as you keep getting me all mixed up with your mother.
Buster: It is exactly the opposite. I'm leaving my mother for you. You're replacing my mother.
Lucille 2: Well, that's healthy.

Lucille Bluth: I'll be in the hospital bar.
Michael: Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals. [Cackles at her own wit]

Lucille Bluth: You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.

Lucille: [holding out a tissue] Blow.
Buster: No mother. I can blow myself.

Lucille: [to Lindsay] I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Lucille: And that goes into storage, right? Not into your apartment.
Painter: Que?
Lucille: [to Michael] What's Spanish for "I know you speak English"?

Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.
Michael: Mom, it's breakfast.
Lucille: And a piece of toast.

Lucille: I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.
Michael: Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?

Lucille: I just pray it's one of those things where he's unconscious through the whole trial and when he wakes up he gets BIG toy!
Michael: Did you do this, Mom? Did you put one of your own sons in a coma so he wouldn't testify?
Lucille: Michael, how dare you! Although the thought did cross my mind.

Lucille: I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture.

Lucille: I want you out of the house.
Oscar: Oh, I want you everywhere.

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina Tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

Lucille: If you're saying I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all my children equally.
[Flashback to that morning]
Lucille: I don't care for Gob.

Lucille: Is this why you wanted to fight this thing? So you could run off with this great redwood of a whore?

Lucille: It's not fair to Buster. He's a nervous wreck right now. He's going into the Army, for God's sake.
Michael: You volunteered him.
Lucille: I knew you were going to throw that in my face.