Arrested Development quotes
177 total quotesLindsay: I care deeply for nature.
Michael: You're wearing ostrich-skin boots.
Lindsay: Well, I don't care about ostriches.
Michael: You're wearing ostrich-skin boots.
Lindsay: Well, I don't care about ostriches.
Lindsay: It would just give Dad one more reason to think that I've got nothing to offer but my looks.
GOB: Yeah, I got some of that. Except he also didn't like my looks.
GOB: Yeah, I got some of that. Except he also didn't like my looks.
Lindsay: It's George Michael, he told me. I think he wants a mother.
Michael: Well that's ridiculous. He's got you, he's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.
Michael: Well that's ridiculous. He's got you, he's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.
Lindsay: Look, I screwed up, ok? I'm lost, and I hate them. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane, Michael.
Lindsay: No, you're not going to that. You see, if I show up with you, it'll just make me seem like I'm a mother.
Maeby: I've never thought of you that way.
Lindsay: That's sweet.
Maeby: I've never thought of you that way.
Lindsay: That's sweet.
Lindsay: Oh, God. Not that "I'm in love with my mother" dance thing. I'm so glad there wasn't one of those for daddies and daughters.
Lucille: Of course they have father-daughter dances.
Lindsay: They do? He never took me?
Lucille: It was before we did your nose. Toodle-oo.
Lucille: Of course they have father-daughter dances.
Lindsay: They do? He never took me?
Lucille: It was before we did your nose. Toodle-oo.
Lindsay: Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free.
Lucille: Really? Did "nothing" cancel?
Lucille: Really? Did "nothing" cancel?
Lindsay: That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon.
Tobias: And this time, no tears!
Tobias: And this time, no tears!
Lindsay: We did it, Mikey! We're super-rich again. And I'm going to buy a car. The Volvo. [hands Michael a piece of paper]
Michael: No, Lindsay, you're not going to start spending money. [looks at paper] And this is not a Vol-vo.
Lindsay: Oh, that's from sitting on the copier. Michael, I've got nothing. My husband dumped me and ran off to Vegas with Kitty, that bleached-blonde whore.
Michael: He's definitely got a type.
Lindsay: I can't believe he left me. I mean, this? [points to her face] And these? [points to her breasts] And this? [holds up paper]
Michael: That's the car.
Lindsay: Oh. [holds up other paper] This?
Michael: Glad I didn't spring for color.
Michael: No, Lindsay, you're not going to start spending money. [looks at paper] And this is not a Vol-vo.
Lindsay: Oh, that's from sitting on the copier. Michael, I've got nothing. My husband dumped me and ran off to Vegas with Kitty, that bleached-blonde whore.
Michael: He's definitely got a type.
Lindsay: I can't believe he left me. I mean, this? [points to her face] And these? [points to her breasts] And this? [holds up paper]
Michael: That's the car.
Lindsay: Oh. [holds up other paper] This?
Michael: Glad I didn't spring for color.
Lindsay: Well Gob doesn't do anything for the family...
Gob: Hey... I'm [bleep]ing Lucille 2!
Lindsay: Oh! I could do something like that...
Gob: Hey... I'm [bleep]ing Lucille 2!
Lindsay: Oh! I could do something like that...
Lindsay: Well, they expect a certain amount of theft, Michael. It's built into the price. If I didn't take it, then people would be overpaying for nothing.
Lindsay: Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?
Lindsay: What did he say? Tell me the last thing he said.
Tobias: [in flashback] I'm afraid I just blue myself.
Michael: He said some wonderful things.
Tobias: [in flashback] I'm afraid I just blue myself.
Michael: He said some wonderful things.
Lindsay: Where's Nana?
Lucille: I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. It was wonderful. Just wonderful.
Narrator: In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.
Lucille: I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. It was wonderful. Just wonderful.
Narrator: In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.
Lindsay: You know, Mom, I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died.
Buster: You gave us cereal in an ashtray.
Buster: You gave us cereal in an ashtray.