Arrested Development quotes
177 total quotesGob: So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already!
Gob: Steve Holt's not my son.
George Michael: Steve Holt? The moron jock?
Gob: That's my son, you pothead!
George Michael: Steve Holt? The moron jock?
Gob: That's my son, you pothead!
Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh... wait, wait. Let down your hair. No: glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.
Gob: The cow is coming after me.
Michael: Your wife? She was super-thin.
Gob: She was? What about her cans? She have big cans?
Michael: You don't remember her at all, do you?
Gob: Hey, it was one night of wild passion!
Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body?
Gob: I like to look in the mirror.
Michael: Your wife? She was super-thin.
Gob: She was? What about her cans? She have big cans?
Michael: You don't remember her at all, do you?
Gob: Hey, it was one night of wild passion!
Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body?
Gob: I like to look in the mirror.
Gob: The real problem is that she keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The... something of my ways. Wisdom?
Michael: It's probably wisdom.
Michael: It's probably wisdom.
Gob: The zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. [thinks for a moment] There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.
Gob: Well, gee, I never thought the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be Mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date.
Gob: Don't call my escorts "whores."
Buster: Mom's still got it!
Gob: I DON'T DATE WHORES!
Lindsay: Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop.
Michael: It's just Mom and whores.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date.
Gob: Don't call my escorts "whores."
Buster: Mom's still got it!
Gob: I DON'T DATE WHORES!
Lindsay: Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop.
Michael: It's just Mom and whores.
Gob: Why don't you get Gob to do your dirty work for you? Shall I knock Dad out and chain him to a pipe somewhere, or should I risk another herpes outbreak with Kitty? Which is it this time, Michael?
Michael: Well, definitely neither of those two things.
Michael: Well, definitely neither of those two things.
Jessie: There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town.
Tobias: Well, that certainly leaves me out. [Everyone looks at Tobias] You said "single," right? She said "single."
Tobias: Well, that certainly leaves me out. [Everyone looks at Tobias] You said "single," right? She said "single."
Jessie: We need to make Michael the new face of the Bluth company. He's the only likable one in the bunch. No offense.
Michael: None taken.
Michael: None taken.
Jessie: Your father's religious now? We'll play that up. It's very sympathetic.
Lucille: Yeah. Who doesn't love the Jews?
Lucille: Yeah. Who doesn't love the Jews?
Kitty: Do you like my outfit?
Gob: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.
Kitty: Gob!
Gob: No, I need your chair. Get up.
Gob: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.
Kitty: Gob!
Gob: No, I need your chair. Get up.
Kitty: Gob? I wish I would have know you were coming. I am a mess.
Gob: I don't know if a call from me would've changed that.
Gob: I don't know if a call from me would've changed that.
Lindsay: (loudly) Well, how embarrassing. My own brother buying me? I'd rather die. (whispers to Michael) Thank you. Maybe you're not that selfish.
Lindsay: [to Maeby] You know what? I'm going to throw on a skirt, take off my underwear, and make your Pop-pop proud!