[Roger confronts the first family he lived with who abandoned him. The family's teenaged son, Tyler, comes home]
TTyler
What's going on?
Roger(sarcastically): Oh, look, it's Tyler -- all grown up like a big shot. (loses the sarcasm as he gives Tyler a onceover): You turned out cute. (suggestively): Real cute! (giggles): Damn it! (continues giggling): I'm -- I'm laughing now 'cuz I'm nervous. (giggles, then tries to catch his breath): Oh, boy, (tugs at the crotch of his pants): these khakis are not getting any looser.
[to Roger, who is beaten and bruised after his encounter with the East German Mafia] Use your board. Use your board. (Roger scribbles down something on a small chalkboard and shows it to Klaus) "How cute is Daniel Day-Lewis?" (Roger's eyes roll up in his head as he passes out): Oh good. The morphine's starting to work.
An above ground sprinkler on the front lawn! No sir! What's next, prostitutes rising out of the ground and spitting all over our lawns? Well not in my neighborhood!
[talking about his camping trip with his dad and son] It was really fun. You should have been there, Francine. I mean, it was a father-son trip so if you had been there it would have ruined everything.
See. Thanks to Roger, Etan will think someone's trying to steal the gifts from the car. But that's just a misdirection; the real gifts we're after are the ones in his jacket.
And what Steve doesn't realize is I have a plan of my own. While everyone's focused on Snot, I'll be heading to the bathroom to share a doobie with the busboy in exchange for an angry handy-J.
