American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesStan: I can't believe you're still upset. It's been a week.
Francine: You called me a pig.
Stan: I didn't say you were a pig. I said that dress made you look like a pig. And those shoes didn't help. All your fat, sweaty toes shoved in there like 20 Hondurans stuffed in a giant... shoe.
Francine: You called me a pig.
Stan: I didn't say you were a pig. I said that dress made you look like a pig. And those shoes didn't help. All your fat, sweaty toes shoved in there like 20 Hondurans stuffed in a giant... shoe.
Stan: I hate the last day of camp. You better write me when you get home, H-Rod.
Hot Rod: We don't have homes. The rebels destroyed everything.
Stan: Oh, right. I guess I don't like thinking about your horrible situation. (steps on soapbox; to the camera) Just like the rest of the world. Shame on you!
Hot Rod: We don't have homes. The rebels destroyed everything.
Stan: Oh, right. I guess I don't like thinking about your horrible situation. (steps on soapbox; to the camera) Just like the rest of the world. Shame on you!
Stan: Lies. It's like you have to lie to live. You're a lie-abetic. You have lie-abetes. Twice a day, you have to take a shot of insu-lyin'.
Stan: Look, honey, I'll make you a deal, you don't marry Jeff, and I won't bake you a roofie cake and tie your fallopians in a square knot.
Stan: None of us get to choose our fathers, but we do get to choose our father figures. I chose my mother. That set me back a bit.
Season 3
Season 3
Stan: Oh, I tell a great story and I'm a liar, but Harry Potter does it and he's your favorite writer.
Stan: Roger? Where did you learn to skate?
Roger: On my planet. You really haven't read my MySpace page, have you? You say you have, but you really haven't.
Roger: On my planet. You really haven't read my MySpace page, have you? You say you have, but you really haven't.
Stan: So this is a refugee camp? I have to say, not that bad. There's sun, sand - it's like Arizona. But here they probably celebrate Martin Luther King Day.
Stan: Steve, camp is an amazing place. You get to swim in the lake, drink bug juice, ring the bell if you win the Camp-A-Lympics. Oh, and then there's "camp love." It's such an intense experience, like winning the Grammy for Best R&B performance, duo, or group.
Steve: Dad, for the last time, you were not in Boyz II Men.
Stan: (sings) Whatever.
Steve: Dad, for the last time, you were not in Boyz II Men.
Stan: (sings) Whatever.
Stan: Who's the boob? It that what you call me behind my back?
Francine: It's just a nickname, honey. It doesn't mean anything. It's like fatty or baby penis.
Francine: It's just a nickname, honey. It doesn't mean anything. It's like fatty or baby penis.
Stan: Why can't Jeff live with his family?!
Hayley: He hasn't spoken to his dad in years, and his mom ran away before he was born.
Stan: How... how could she do that?
Hayley: He hasn't spoken to his dad in years, and his mom ran away before he was born.
Stan: How... how could she do that?
Steve Smith: Dad! When were you gonna tell me that you're part of the Illuminati?
Stan Smith: Steve! That's crazy! I was never gonna tell you!
Stan Smith: Steve! That's crazy! I was never gonna tell you!
Steve [to Roger]: You sound just like Daphne Zuniga from that Lifetime movie, and you remember what happened to her.
Roger: Oh, my God! She ended up on ABC Family! Well, I'm not going to let that happen to me.
Roger: Oh, my God! She ended up on ABC Family! Well, I'm not going to let that happen to me.
Steve: (about Roger staying with Henry) Why does he stay, Hayley?! Why does he stay?
Hayley: Clearly, he's getting something from this kid he wasn't getting from you. When you have that kind of co-dependency, it can be hard to break free from an abusive relationship.
Jeff [appears from the pantry]: Can I come out of the pantry now, babe?
Hayley: I said I'll get you when I'm ready! (throws her coffee mug at him)
Hayley: Clearly, he's getting something from this kid he wasn't getting from you. When you have that kind of co-dependency, it can be hard to break free from an abusive relationship.
Jeff [appears from the pantry]: Can I come out of the pantry now, babe?
Hayley: I said I'll get you when I'm ready! (throws her coffee mug at him)