American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesSteve: Now the world will never know the truth.
Stan: If only there was a place where you could make any outrageous claim you want with absolutely no proof, and millions of people would accept it as fact.
Steve: That's it!
[cutaway to Steve writing a Wikipedia article on "The Truth About Peanut Butter"]
Stan: If only there was a place where you could make any outrageous claim you want with absolutely no proof, and millions of people would accept it as fact.
Steve: That's it!
[cutaway to Steve writing a Wikipedia article on "The Truth About Peanut Butter"]
Steve: Oh, I saw him go into your study with a sledgehammer and a watermelon.
Stan: What?
Francine: There's got to be an explanation. Is it Gallagher day?
Stan: Do you see a Gallagher tree, Francine? Roger's back to his old ways. I am livid, Francine! Now I know how bears feel.
Stan: What?
Francine: There's got to be an explanation. Is it Gallagher day?
Stan: Do you see a Gallagher tree, Francine? Roger's back to his old ways. I am livid, Francine! Now I know how bears feel.
Steve: See. Thanks to Roger, Etan will think someone's trying to steal the gifts from the car. But that's just a misdirection; the real gifts we're after are the ones in his jacket.
Roger: [whispers to Barry] Scams make me so horny. (Barry looks worried)
Roger: [whispers to Barry] Scams make me so horny. (Barry looks worried)
Steve: So now I was a published writer, but my life had become boring, as boring as a bad metaphor. Or simile. Whatever, I'm not a writer.
Steve: So then it's cool to alienate gays?
Stan: Yes, it is, son. Gays are the new Blacks.
Stan: Yes, it is, son. Gays are the new Blacks.
Steve: So you're saying I should never, ever have sex before marriage?
Stan: That's right. Or angels will kill you.
Stan: That's right. Or angels will kill you.
Steve: Toshi, you have a video camera, right?
Toshi: [subtitled] You assume this because I am Asian. You are a racist.
Steve: Wow, that's a lot of words for of course.
Toshi: [subtitled] You assume this because I am Asian. You are a racist.
Steve: Wow, that's a lot of words for of course.
Steve: What am I gonna do?!
Hayley: Whatever you want. You know, a pregnant boy still has the right to choose.
Stan: Not in this house he doesn't. We're conservatives! And the one way we don't like to kill things is that way!
Hayley: Whatever you want. You know, a pregnant boy still has the right to choose.
Stan: Not in this house he doesn't. We're conservatives! And the one way we don't like to kill things is that way!
Steve: Wow, uncensored nudity! This game must be from Japan!
Toshi: [in Japanese] Unlikely. Those are women, not underage schoolgirls.
Toshi: [in Japanese] Unlikely. Those are women, not underage schoolgirls.
Steve: You can put it in a curro case, you can sew with it, a little mouse could wear it for hat.
[Roger throws it on ground and stomps on it, walks away and comes back as Veleak]
[Roger throws it on ground and stomps on it, walks away and comes back as Veleak]
Steve: You mean Jenga?
Roger: Well, I think it's pronounced Henga, but if you wanna crap all over the Spanish language, go ahead.
Roger: Well, I think it's pronounced Henga, but if you wanna crap all over the Spanish language, go ahead.
Steve: You wanna get nuts?!... let's get nuts!! [smashes glass with a strike gun]
Steve: [to evil Barry] Sure, you can kill me with your gun, but are you willing to try something much more elaborate and unnecessary?
Superintendent: It's come to my attention that you've been letting one of your students skip classes, miss tests and hang out in the teacher's lounge. I'm sorry, Brian. This is bad. I hate to say it, but...
Roger: You're fired!
Principal Lewis: Is that what you intended to say, superintendent?
Superintendent: That's what I super-intended to say.
Roger: Yay!
Roger: You're fired!
Principal Lewis: Is that what you intended to say, superintendent?
Superintendent: That's what I super-intended to say.
Roger: Yay!