American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesStan: [drunk] Francine, you need to come home right now. Greg was mean to me!
Tank Bates: What're you talking about, fruit loop? She's Terry's girlfriend.
Stan: No she's not. She's my wife! Greg is Terry's boyfriend!
Tank Bates: ...What?
Stan: Terry and Greg are in love! Your son is gay!
[Terry faints in an overly-cliched manner. his father, confused, catches him]
Stan: See? That's not how a straight guy faints. This is how a straight guy faints!
[collapses forward and lands flat on his face]
Tank Bates: What're you talking about, fruit loop? She's Terry's girlfriend.
Stan: No she's not. She's my wife! Greg is Terry's boyfriend!
Tank Bates: ...What?
Stan: Terry and Greg are in love! Your son is gay!
[Terry faints in an overly-cliched manner. his father, confused, catches him]
Stan: See? That's not how a straight guy faints. This is how a straight guy faints!
[collapses forward and lands flat on his face]
Stan: [fighting a stripper in a Bo-Peep outfit] Hey Bo-Peep, I know where you can find your sheep, in hell!
Stan: [gets in the passenger side of a car] Stan Smith, CIA! To the Smithsonian! Oh wait, this my car. [shifts over to the driver's side] Even better!
Stan: [Reading the instructions, trying to make Mac&Cheese] Hmm... Boil water. What am I? A CHEMIST?!
Steve: [Talking To Barry] You gonna use your diaper? Kinda floating over here.
Barry: Sure let me just [Screams] Sorry ocupodo.
Steve: [Talking To Barry] You gonna use your diaper? Kinda floating over here.
Barry: Sure let me just [Screams] Sorry ocupodo.
Stan: [realising that children from pie eating content are deaf] Hey, I'm gonna just go in the kitchen and steal your food. Marlee Matlin sucks! [pauses] Ah, you know, that's not fair. I really enjoyed her work on The West Wing.
Stan: [reveals shotgun behind pillow] Ah, pillow gun. Where danger and comfort meet. 200 thread count, '[pumps shotgun]' 200 dead count.
Stan: [simultaneously demomstrating with a rifle] Steve, shooting a gun is like being intimate with a woman. First, you inspect it to make sure it's clean. Then you grab it on the butt and jam the magazine in. If it doesn't fit, make it.
Stan: [talking about euthanising a racoon] She said it was the most compassionate thing she'd ever seen.... And I got to kill something. It was a magical moment.
Stan: [talking about his camping trip with his dad and son] It was really fun. You should have been there, Francine. I mean, it was a father-son trip so if you had been there it would have ruined everything.
Stan: [to Francine, after he hears the neighbors badmouth him] They all hate me! It's like our wedding all over again... except this time I'm you!
[Stan, using CIA powers, has seized the houses of all his neighbors]
Stan: In other words, there goes the neighborhood. [laughs] Ordinarily that would have racist implications, but I've actually done something far worse.
[Stan, using CIA powers, has seized the houses of all his neighbors]
Stan: In other words, there goes the neighborhood. [laughs] Ordinarily that would have racist implications, but I've actually done something far worse.
Stan: [to Francine] Just because snow is the same color as our refrigerator, doesn't mean you know how it works.
Stan: Ah, Mr. Pibb. The cornerstone of our love. Delicious, refreshing, and totally lacking in pretension!
Stan: Ah, the lighting of the town Christmas tree- can you think of anything more American?
Steve: An American flag?
Stan: Or. Or an American flag with Christmas trees for stars! Ooh, that would make a good cake. [pulls out personal tape recorder] Note to self: I like cake.
Steve: An American flag?
Stan: Or. Or an American flag with Christmas trees for stars! Ooh, that would make a good cake. [pulls out personal tape recorder] Note to self: I like cake.