Welcome Back, Kotter quotes
73 total quotesKotter: Do I look like Miss Fishbeck, the art teacher?
Epstein: Only around the moustache.
Epstein: Only around the moustache.
Kotter: Epstein, what are the advantages of the two-party system?
Epstein: Oh, that's an easy one. In the two-party system, you get to go to two kinds of parties... two kinds of dancin', two kinds of chip dip, and two kinds of hopin' you'll, uh, make out.
Epstein: Oh, that's an easy one. In the two-party system, you get to go to two kinds of parties... two kinds of dancin', two kinds of chip dip, and two kinds of hopin' you'll, uh, make out.
Kotter: Has it occurred to any of you that by trying to help Horshack, you're hurting him? You're not giving him a chance to prove himself outside the Sweathogs. You gotta let him try and make new friends.
Vinnie: Something wrong with his old friends?
Epstein: Yeah, you couldn't give friends like us away.
Kotter: You got a point there, Epstein.
Vinnie: Something wrong with his old friends?
Epstein: Yeah, you couldn't give friends like us away.
Kotter: You got a point there, Epstein.
Kotter: Hello, Arnold. Haven't you noticed you're wearing a green plastic bag?
Horshack: I'm disguised as a green bean.
Kotter: [in deep voice] Ho, ho, ho...and how are things in the valley, Little Sprout?
Horshack: [in high-pitched voice] Fine and dandy, Jolly Green Giant! How's your niblets?
Horshack: I'm disguised as a green bean.
Kotter: [in deep voice] Ho, ho, ho...and how are things in the valley, Little Sprout?
Horshack: [in high-pitched voice] Fine and dandy, Jolly Green Giant! How's your niblets?
Kotter: I have a bad case of Lyle Flannigan.
Freddie: When did you first notice that something was wrong with your Flannigan?
Freddie: When did you first notice that something was wrong with your Flannigan?
Kotter: I'm a teacher. That's what it says on my locker, "Mr. Kotter, teacher." And I'm teaching a bunch of students called Sweathogs. Now, contrary to popular opinion, Sweathogs are not dumb. I mean, a dumb person does not think of a way to make it rain in the gymnasium.
Vinnie: I did that.
Vinnie: I did that.
Kotter: James Buchanan is not anywhere. It's in Bensonhurst, which is in Brooklyn, which is where I spent four degenerate years as a student. You know how rough that is? The gangs there don't use guns. They insert the bullets manually.
Kotter: Julie, baby, did I ever tell you about my uncle Ben?
Julie: No. Did he make rice?
Julie: No. Did he make rice?
Kotter: Just think of a debate as sort of a, um, rumble with words.
Vinnie: You mean like, 'Up your nose with a garden hose?'
Vinnie: You mean like, 'Up your nose with a garden hose?'
Kotter: Maybe Epstein has decided that there's more to being a man that winning or losing a fight. That manliness is not measured by the amount of macho a guy's got.
Horshack: Right you are, Mr. Kotter! I get along without any macho at all.
Vinnie: Yeah, I'm holdin' it for him 'till he gets older.
Horshack: Right you are, Mr. Kotter! I get along without any macho at all.
Vinnie: Yeah, I'm holdin' it for him 'till he gets older.
Kotter: So nobody did it. I think we should put a candle in the window, because the last time this happened, three wise men came from the east.
Kotter: Vinnie's not the first Sweathog who ever ran.
Woodman: No, that's right. Back in 1962, Jerry Slater was disqualified for stuffing the ballot box... with his opponent.
Woodman: No, that's right. Back in 1962, Jerry Slater was disqualified for stuffing the ballot box... with his opponent.
Kotter: What would have happened if George Washington quit, huh? If Abraham Lincoln quit? What would have happened if Murray Cornfeld quit?
Freddie: I ain't never heard of no Murray Cornfeld!
Kotter: You know why you never heard of him? 'Cause he quit!
Freddie: I ain't never heard of no Murray Cornfeld!
Kotter: You know why you never heard of him? 'Cause he quit!
Kotter: What's your first name?
Bambi: It's Bambi. [giggling] But, uh, my friends call me Sunshine.
Freddie: Well, uh, let the sunshine in, darlin'!
Bambi: It's Bambi. [giggling] But, uh, my friends call me Sunshine.
Freddie: Well, uh, let the sunshine in, darlin'!
Kotter: You went to the library where they keep the books?
Vinnie: Yeah. And for three whole days we spent lookin' up what you call legal 'presidents'.
Vinnie: Yeah. And for three whole days we spent lookin' up what you call legal 'presidents'.