Veronica Mars quotes

413 total quotes


Keith: The next time I shoot you, it won't be digitally. Unless I hit you in the finger, and then we'll have a big laugh about it.

Keith: 'Sup?
Veronica: I'm not acknowledging that.

Keith: [to Alicia] You just fulfilled one of the Top 10 male fantasies...Oh yeah, a guy dreams his whole life of a beautiful woman bringing him a sandwich.

Keith: [to Veronica] I'm sorry, I was looking for my apartment, but I seem to have stumbled upon some sort of magical winter wonderland instead. Why, perhaps this elf can help me.

Keith: Can you think of any reason Logan would have got three calls from Kendall on the day of the crash?
Veronica: [sighs] Well, let's see...I believe the Latin term is coitus sordidus.
Keith: They were sleeping together? [Veronica nods] That was weeks before Kendall's husband fled the country.
Veronica: Logan may be a little fuzzy on the commandments.

Keith: Did you watch House of Wax again? You know that Hilton girl gives you nightmares.

Keith: Don't forget. You're a high school girl. Do some high school girl things now and then.
Veronica: Relax, Dad. I'm cutting pictures of Ashton out of Teen People as we speak.

Keith: For you, on this momentous occasion. [hands her an envelope]
Veronica: [smells and shakes envelope] A pony?!

Keith: Guess who stopped by today?
Veronica: If you say Josh Hartnett, I'm gonna be so bummed.

Keith: Have you been playing nice with the other children?
Veronica: You know Dad, I'm old school, an eye for an eye.
Keith: I think that's actually Old Testament.

Keith: Hello, Stosh. What do you say we head out, have a few beers?
Piz: That's one of those trick questions, isn't it?
Keith: I got some new IDs for you. Wallace. [hands Wallace and Piz their new IDs]
Piz: This picture is Jon Bon Jovi.
Keith: Yes. It is.
Wallace: Biggie Smalls? We don't really all look alike, Mr. Mars.
Keith: I know that, Wallace. Now, let's go out and get our drink on.

Keith: Hey honey, what's cooking?
Veronica: Not sure myself. Something that ends in -aroni.

Keith: Honey...why is there a pistol in the freezer?
Veronica: Because there's this guy, see, and I want to put him on ice. Because revenge is a dish best served cold. Because I want to commit murder in the 28th degree?
Keith: Stop.

Keith: How was school?
Veronica: You know - mean kids, indifferent teachers, crumbling infrastructure.

Keith: I need to see the sheriff.
Deputy Sachs: I don't know, Keith. He looks kind of busy.
Keith: Well, that's something I gotta see.