Josh: Eve Harrington in penny loafers here just corrected me in front of the President.
Donna: Were you wrong?
Josh: That's not the point.
Donna: What is the point?
Josh: I'm going into my office now.

Josh: Forgive my bluntness, and I say this with all due respect, Congressman, but vote yes, or you're not even going to be on the ballot two years from now.
Katzenmoyer: How do you figure?
Josh: You're going to lose in the primary.
Katzenmoyer: There's no Democrat running against me.
Josh: Sure there is.
Katzenmoyer: Who?
Josh: Whomever we pick.
Katzenmoyer: You're bluffing.
Josh: Okay.
Katzenmoyer: I'm in your own party!
Josh: Doesn't seem to be doing us much good now, does it?
Katzenmoyer: Against an incumbent Democrat. You'll go to the press and endorse a challenger?
Josh: No sir. We're going to do it in person. See, you won with fifty-two percent, but the President took your district with fifty-nine. And I think it's high time we come back and say thanks. Do you have any idea how much noise Air Force One makes when it lands in Eau Claire, Wisconsin? We're going to have a party, Congressman. You should come, it's gonna be great. And when the watermelon's done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo... You guys got a band gazebo?
Katzenmoyer: Josh...
Josh: Doesn't matter, we'll build one. Right in the band gazebo, that's where the President is going to drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant DA we like. And you should have your camera with you. You should get a picture of that. 'Cause that's gonna be the moment you're finished in Democratic politics. President Bartlet's a good man. He's got a good heart. He doesn't hold a grudge. That's what he pays me for.

Josh: Get some rest. I need you to look pretty for 20 million TV viewers.
Leo: If that's what we're counting on, the campaign is doomed.

Josh: He can have a member try to attach an amendment to the override vote.
Donna: What kind of amendment?
Josh: Doesn't matter. "To qualify for the estate tax repeal, the estates have to have Astroturfâ��¢."
Donna: And still it's hard to figure why Congress can't get anything done.

Josh: Here's one.
Mandy: One what?
Josh: A book which if I was stuck with it on a desert island I still wouldn't read it. "The Adventures of James C. Adams, Mountaineer and Grizzly Bear Hunter of California." I believe I would eat this book before I read it.

Josh: Hey, Ado Annie, I sent you flowers. I think what you're trying to say is, "Why thank you, Josh, they're beautiful, how very thoughtful of you."
Donna: Really? 'Cause I think what I was trying to say was "Shove it."

Josh: How about our exclusion from the debates. Let's try that.
Ned: So, what do we do? Film chicken coops and say they're too chicken to debate us?
Josh: I want two volunteers. I want them in giant chicken suits. I want them in my office first thing in the morning.

Josh: How am I not supposed to call you a hypocrite when you say that the government shouldn't tell women what to do with their bodies?
Amy: Exercise some self control, I guess. Prostitution is about the subjugation of women by men for profit.
Josh: But the profit goes to the women.
Amy: In some cases. But I know of no little girl, and neither do you, who says "I want to be a prostitute when I grow up."

Josh: I can hold my liquor.
Donna: No, you can't.
Josh: I can drink with the best of 'em, Donna.
Donna: You can't drink with any of 'em, Josh.
Josh: I'm a politician, okay? I can drink.
Donna: You have a very sensitive system.
Josh: I wish you'd stop telling people that. It makes me sound like an idiot.
Donna: You're gonna have two drinks and spend the rest of the weekend sleeping it off.

Josh: I denied it for half an hour, they wouldn't take no for an answer!
Bartlet: You were clear?
Josh: I was crystal clear! They said, "Do you think that, if the President has a plan to fight inflation, it's right that he keep it a secret?" I said, of course not!
Bartlet: Are you telling me that not only did you invent a secret plan to fight inflation, but now you don't support it?

Josh: I forget, in D.C. do they allow felons to vote? [pause] Too soon?
Toby: Yeah, a little bit.

Josh: I have to tell you, he's ordinarily an extremely kind man, placing a very high premium on civility. Today...it's just been a very difficult few days for him.
Charlie: I think I should probably go.
[Bartlet comes in]
Bartlet: Excuse me, Charlie? Can I see you inside, please? Come on, it's okay.
[Charlie walks toward him hesitantly and Bartlet sticks out his hand]
Bartlet: I'm Jed Bartlet.
Charlie: I'm Charles Young, sir.
Bartlet: But you prefer Charlie, right? Listen, Leo McGarry filled me in on the situation with your mother. I'm so very sorry. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of calling Tom Connolly, the FBI Director, and we had the computer spit out some quick information. Your mother was killed by a Western .38 revolver firing KTWs, or what are known as cop-killer bullets. Now, we have not had a whole lot of success yet in banning that weapon and those bullets off the streets, but we're planning on taking a big whack at it when Congress comes back from recess. So, what do you say? You want to come help us out?
Charlie: [smiling] Yes, sir, I do.
Bartlet: Thank you, Charlie. [shakes his hand]
...
Charlie: I've never felt like this before.
Josh: It doesn't go away.

Josh: I just came from seeing Amy Gardner.
C.J.: Yeah? How'd it go?
Josh: I showed her who's boss.
C.J.: Who'd it turn out to be?
Josh: It's still unclear.

Josh: I think we made a mistake.
Donna: What?
Josh: Letting the President step aside.
Will: Have you been watching CNN, MSNBC? Even FOX is treating it as a seminar on the resiliency of the Constitution.
Josh: The President's daughter is probably tied up in the back of a gas station. We have no idea how this is playing.
Will: He showed he's a leader, nobly embracing his own flawed humanity.
Josh: Lincoln and Kennedy had children who died. They didn't take a sabbatical.
Toby: Who's been calling?
Josh: Congressional leadership.
Toby: Lincoln never got a ransom note from Jefferson Davis. He's putting country before family. I'd carpet bomb Mecca to get my kids back.
Josh: What if they like Walken better? What if he seems more presidential? What if they want Walken to stay?
Will: In a few days, President Bartlet turns the second letter over to Congress.
Josh: What if it doesn't take a few days? What if it takes a few weeks, a few months? What if she's never found?

Josh: I told her we were commissioning a poll to explore attitudes towards subsurface agricultural products.
Leo: Subsurface agricultural - What the hell?
Josh: Underground. We think Americans are eating more beets.