Bartlet: Would it surprise you to know that for the last few months you have been on a short list of candidates for the bench?
Mendoza: Yes, it would.
Bartlet: Well then this is gonna knock your socks off. Tomorrow evening at 5 o'clock, I am naming you as my nominee to be the next Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court. You were not the first choice, but you are the last one, and the right one. Will you accept the nomination?
Mendoza: With honor.

Bartlet: You know what we're starting with tonight?
Josh: No, sir.
Bartlet: Hot pumpkin soup with cheese gnocchi and a chèvre brioche.
Josh: Was anything you just said food?

Bartlet: You know, 15 years ago, we took a trip to Egypt, all five of us, saw the pyramids and Luxor, then headed up into the Sinai. We had a guide, a Bedouin man, who called me "Abu el Banat." Whenever we'd meet another Bedouin, he'd introduce me as "Abu el Banat." The Bedouin would laugh and laugh and then offer me a cup of tea. And I'd go and pay them for the tea, and they wouldn't let me. "Abu el Banat" means "father of daughters." They thought the tea was the least they could do.

Bartlet: You work for the President. He's going to need you down there.
Charlie: I work for you, sir. Someone else can show him where the Xerox paper is.
Bartlet: You do a lot more than that.
Charlie: Thank you, sir, but I'd prefer to stay here with you.

Bartlet: You're not going to spoil my good time for me.
Mrs. Landingham: Oh, sir, I think we both know from experience that's not true.
Bartlet: Yeah.
Mrs. Landingham: You need to be in the car ten minutes ago, Mr. President.
Bartlet: Do you see me walking out the door?
Mrs. Landingham: No, I see you standing and arguing with a senior citizen.

Bartlet: You're young, Charlie. Don't you want to be having fun right now?
Charlie: Yes, sir. But I work for you.
Bartlet: I get that a lot.

Bartlet:Listen, I know we're here for a serious purpose, for a sober purpose, but I wanted to say I've never been a part of a street gang before, and that's basically what we are � a pretty well-financed one � but anyway, I wanted to say it feels good, and I think when we're done with this meeting, I think we should go out and get girls, and I don't know, maybe knock over a fruit stand or something.

Bernard: [to C.J.] The President, on a visit to the gallery, and possessing even less taste in fine art than you have in accessories, announced that he liked the painting. The French government offered it as a gift to the White House. I suppose in retribution for EuroDisney. So there it hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod.

Bernard: Did you pick out that tie, or is it government-issue?
Charlie: My sister bought me this tie.
Bernard: The things we put up with for family.

Bonnie: [after Josh told the Senate Majority Leader to "shove his legislative agenda up [his] ass"] Rambo!
Josh: You talking to me?
Bonnie: Nice phone call.
Josh: That's how we do things in New England, my friends.
Bonnie: In Indiana, we're not allowed to talk like that.
Ginger: In New Jersey, we encourage it.

Bram: The bus is here. We've really got to move.
Lou: Sir, do you know what the average SMT time was this week?
Santos: Bram clocks this. He rounds up because he's got money on it.
Lou: 92 minutes.
Santos: That's a lie!
Helen: SMT?
Edie: Santos Mean Time.
Helen: 92 minutes late?
Santos: The notion that I'm the problem is convenient, but completely fallacious!

Bruno: [moves his watch from his left wrist to his right] Superstitious. One of my election day good luck routines.
Jane: One of?
Bruno: You met Carrie already.

Bruno: [to Bartlet] I have difficulty sometimes talking to people who don't race sailboats. When I was a teenager, I crewed Larchmont to Nassau on a 58-foot sloop called Cantice. There was a little piece of kelp that was stuck to the hull, and even though it was little, you don't want anything stuck to the hull. So, I take a boat hook on a pole and I stick it in the water and I try to get the kelp off, when seven guys start screaming at me, right? 'Cause now the pole is causing more drag than the kelp was. See, what you gotta do is you gotta drop it in and let the water lift it out in a windmill motion. Drop it in, and let the water take it by the kelp and lift it out. In, and out. In, and out, till you got it. The voters aren't choosing a plumber, Mr. President. They are choosing a president. And if you don't think that your family should matter, my suggestion to you is to get out of professional politics. And if you think that I'm going to miss even one opportunity to pick up half-a-knot boat speed, you're absolutely out of your mind. When it costs us nothing, when we give up nothing?! You're out of your mind.

Bruno: I'm just simply going to kill you.
CJ: She seems nice.
Bruno: That is the brunette, named Annette.
CJ: Wouldn't you give anything if she was from Tibet?
Bruno: I'm actually fine with her being from Philadelphia, so please state your business.

Bruno: I've been thinking it might not be such a bad idea to lock you all in here and set the place on fire. We have 48 hours before we kick off this campaign. We will work hard, we will work well, and we will work together. Or so help me, mother of God, I will stick a pitchfork so far up your asses you will quite simply be dead.