Red Dwarf quotes
198 total quotesCat: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
Kryten: But, sir, we lost Mr. Rimmer.
Cat: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
Kryten: But, sir, we lost Mr. Rimmer.
Cat: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
Cat: Come on, man, you gotta sacrifice your life. I'm not asking you to do anything I wouldn't do.
Rimmer: You? You'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew?
Cat: No! I'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew.
Rimmer: You? You'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew?
Cat: No! I'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew.
Cat: Forget Red -- let's go all the way up to Brown Alert!
Kryten: There's no such thing as a Brown Alert, sir.
Cat: You won't be saying that in a minute! And don't say I didn't alert you!
Kryten: There's no such thing as a Brown Alert, sir.
Cat: You won't be saying that in a minute! And don't say I didn't alert you!
Cat: Great(!) Where does this leave us?!
Kryten: It leaves us floating aimlessly in space with no navigation and a rapidly diminishing emergency power supply. It leaves us galloping up diarrhea drive without a saddle.
Kryten: It leaves us floating aimlessly in space with no navigation and a rapidly diminishing emergency power supply. It leaves us galloping up diarrhea drive without a saddle.
Cat: Hey, this has been a really good day. I've eaten five times, I've slept six times, and I've made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can't have sex with something.
Cat: How come you need more memory? Over the years you've had more RAM than a field of sheep!
Cat: I'm so hungry. I just have to eat!
Lister: Shh... Rimmer's dad's died.
Cat: I'd prefer chicken.
Lister: Shh... Rimmer's dad's died.
Cat: I'd prefer chicken.
Cat: I'm walking through the cargo deck, right? Minding my own damn business. When all of a sudden, you know that big tank on G deck?
Lister: He means the water tank.
Cat: Suddenly there is a disturbance on the surface of the tank and this massive testicle shoots out of the water and grabs me by the throat.
Lister: He means tentacle.
Rimmer: I hope so.
Lister: He means the water tank.
Cat: Suddenly there is a disturbance on the surface of the tank and this massive testicle shoots out of the water and grabs me by the throat.
Lister: He means tentacle.
Rimmer: I hope so.
Cat: Is that what I think it is?
Lister: What do you think it is?
Cat: An orange whirly thing in space!
Lister: It's a time hole. That's where they are. We're going in.
Cat: Are you crazy We can't go in there!
Lister: Why not?
Cat: Orange, with this suit?
Lister: What do you think it is?
Cat: An orange whirly thing in space!
Lister: It's a time hole. That's where they are. We're going in.
Cat: Are you crazy We can't go in there!
Lister: Why not?
Cat: Orange, with this suit?
Cat: Look what it did to me! It's turned me into Duane Dibbley -- the Duke of Dork.
Cat: Okay. I say let's get into the jet-powered rocket pants and junior birdman the hell out of here!
Kryten: An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks: a) We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants; and b) there's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocket Pants."
Cat: Well, that's put an annoying crimp on an otherwise damn fine plan.
Kryten: An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks: a) We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants; and b) there's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocket Pants."
Cat: Well, that's put an annoying crimp on an otherwise damn fine plan.
Cat: We ain't gonna find 'em. They're gone, buddy. But look on the bright side -- they're gone, buddy!
Cat: What do you think these guys are gonna do to us?
Lister Whatever it takes to find out about the paddle.
Cat: Hey, if you mean torture, then say the word 'torture'. I can take it!
Lister: OK, they may torture us.
Cat: Ohhhhhh, torture...!
Lister Whatever it takes to find out about the paddle.
Cat: Hey, if you mean torture, then say the word 'torture'. I can take it!
Lister: OK, they may torture us.
Cat: Ohhhhhh, torture...!
Cat: What was it like being a hamster?
Lister: It was better than being a chicken. Have you seen the size of an egg? Seen the size of a chicken's bum? That's what all the clucking was about. I was trying to say in chicken-talk "for God's sake, give me an epidural!"
Lister: It was better than being a chicken. Have you seen the size of an egg? Seen the size of a chicken's bum? That's what all the clucking was about. I was trying to say in chicken-talk "for God's sake, give me an epidural!"
Cat: What, am I the only sane one here? Why don't we drop the defensive shields?
Kryten: A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws. One: we don't have any defensive shields. And two: we don't have any defensive shields. Now I realise that, technically speaking, that's only one flaw; but I thought it was such a big one, it was worth mentioning twice.
Kryten: A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws. One: we don't have any defensive shields. And two: we don't have any defensive shields. Now I realise that, technically speaking, that's only one flaw; but I thought it was such a big one, it was worth mentioning twice.