Bailey: I'm starting to think I should have expected things to turn out this way.
Sarah: What's that supposed to mean?
Bailey: It turns out all the Salinger men make the same mistake.
Sarah: What mistake?
Bailey: They walk away from the one thing that's actually the best thing that ever happened to them.

Charlie: Yeah. I'm the boss. I'm the boss, and kind of the dad... a couple of hours from now, I'll be the husband. If I had a clue how to be even one of those I'd be happy. [pause] There was this woman tonight. Last night, whatever it was. She wanted me to go to bed with her... and she was pretty and needy. Always a good combination, right George? It felt like this test, you know? The snake offering the apple, that kind of thing. And I said no. So if it was a test I passed it. Which means I ought to be feeling pretty good about it now. So, let me ask you a question. How come I still feel like I want to run away someplace? How come I feel like I can't breathe? How come it feels like someone's got their fist around my lungs?

Charlie: You called Joe?
Bailey: Yeah, sorry, we just didn't happen to have $2500 bucks lying around to bail you out. Take him home, Joe, will you? I can't look at him right now.

Charlie: You know, Claud, when the doctor says there's a 98 percent chance you're gonna be fine, that's a good sign.
Claudia: I know.
Charlie: Well, if you know, then what's the problem?
Claudia: What if it's that 2 percent?
Charlie: It won't be. That's what 2 percent means.
Claudia: No, that's what zero percent means.

Claudia: God, I swear, sometimes I feel like the only thing anyone in this family ever says to me is 'Go away.' Justin, can I hang out with you? Justin?
Justin: Go away, Claudia, ok? Just get out of here.

Julia: Are you bringing anybody to the wedding?
Bailey: A date? No. You?
Julia: No. Griffin never would have come anyway. He probably doesn't even own a tie.

Kirsten: I can't wait another six months, Charlie. Because in six months we're going to be exactly where we are today, and I don't ever want to feel this way again.

Kirsten: I would have given you everything today. For God's sake, Charlie, I would have given you me! I can't give you more than that---I don't know how to.