Amita Ramanujan: I didn't say it was rational, it just feels weird.
Charlie Eppes: My Dad knows you spend the night. That's never been weird.
Alan Eppes: Well, it's weird now, thank you very much.

Amita Ramanujan: I got it! I stole his mojo bag!
Charlie Eppes: [to Megan and Colby via phone] She just stole his mojo.

Amita Ramanujan: If we had a DTMF decoder ... that's a Dual-tone multi-frequency. It's touchtone.
David Sinclair: Why couldn't you have just said that to begin with?
Amita Ramanujan: Yeah, but it wouldn't have been as much fun.

Amita Ramanujan: Imagine Alan in high school. Hanging out by the bike rags, snapping towels in the shower.
Charlie Eppes: Thanks for the shower image.

Amita Ramanujan: Oh, by the way ... Larry called, from his string theory conference. He was confused about something.
Charlie Eppes: What, his-his double special relativity theory?
Amita Ramanujan: No. Whether he was in St. Louis or Cleveland.
Charlie Eppes: [sighs] He's so geographically challenged. Where is his conference?
Amita Ramanujan: Minneapolis.

Amita Ramanujan: So, Larry, what are you going to do with all of your stuff?
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: Oh, I don't know. Hey, you can take home your dinnerware if you want.

Amita Ramanujan: Tal Feigenbaum is easily as good a hacker as Augie.
Charlie Eppes: Yeah, he's probably trying to ... decode the backdoor, too.
Don Eppes: You know, what if he's not trying to hack Augie? I mean, what if he's trying to find him?
Amita Ramanujan: IRC. Internet Relay Chat. It's how hackers talk when they don't want to be overheard.
Charlie Eppes: It's a pretty primitive chat program.
Amita Ramanujan: Think of it like shipping channels in the ocean. You can't see them until a boat cuts through the water leaving a wake. If two boats meet in the middle of the ocean to swap a load of illegal drugs, you have to catch them in real time, otherwise there's no evidence of the meeting left behind.
Charlie Eppes: No names, no accounts, no records of exchange.
Don Eppes: Well, how do they see each other?
Amita Ramanujan: Online names.
Don Eppes: Okay, so what, we've got "the_fist", and, and ... what's Augie's?
Amita Ramanujan: [points at the website] "00zemeister". I'll set up an alarm to alert us if either name enters an IRC channel.
Don Eppes: Can we see what they're saying?
Amita Ramanujan: In leetspeak. Luckily, I speak leet.
Charlie Eppes: That's so hot!

Amita Ramanujan: When you get married in India you marry the entire family.
David Sinclair: Somebody should tell Don.

Amita Ramanujan: You know, I've been thinking about what Buckley said... about honeymooning in Costa Rica.
Charlie Eppes: Depending on the time of year, lots of rain.
Amita Ramanujan: We'll bring umbrellas.
Charlie Eppes: Scorpions! They got scorpions down there that sleep in peoples shoes.
Amita Ramanujan: So we'll wear sandals.
Charlie Eppes: Very long flight.
Amita Ramanujan: Not if we take separate planes. [Don enters]
Amita Ramanujan: What do you think about Costa Rica?
Don Eppes: Ahm, I don't know. I hear they've got a lot of scorpions.

Amita Ramanujan: [about Larry and Alan arguing] It's like this one time, when Bugs Bunny tricks Duffy Duck into declaring duck season, by declaring rabbit season. And then Elmer Fudd shoots Duffy Duck and his beak spin around. It's really very funny!

Amita Ramanujan: [about two usernames never being online at the same time] It's like Superman and Clark Kent, never at the same place at the same time.
Charlie Eppes: The same person.

Amita Ramanujan: [after the TV gets blank] Ahm, Charlie!
Charlie Eppes: What?
Amita Ramanujan: The TV!
Charlei Eppes: Ah, it's the cable, there's a... there's an intermittent where it hooks up in the garage.
Amita Ramanujan: I know.
Charlie Eppes: [sees the face she makes] I'll go fix it.

Amita Ramanujan: [comes into Charlie's office, closes the door and kisses him] This ring's got a funny effect on me.
Charlie Eppes: You closed the door.
Amita Ramanujan: Yes, I did.
Charlie Eppes: Did you lock the door? [Larry comes in]

Amita Ramanujan: [to her kidnapper] My book will be called 'Two days with a computer illiterate'!

Ashby: I'm a speed dial away from collapsing this bridge.