Magnum: [narrating] This morning in paradise was not much better than the one yesterday. In other words � it was perfect. And morning in paradise is the perfect time of day. A quiet run, then a swim; it's a time you're truly alone; a time when you're allowed to fully appreciate the rhythms of living. Besides, Higgins was going to be gone all day, and that made me appreciate the rhythms of living, even more.

Magnum: [referring to Higgins' school day beanie] Higgins, you wore this?
Higgins: With pride.
Magnum: Put it on.
Higgins: What?
Magnum: I know your dying to see how it looks.
Higgins: No.
Magnum: OK. I need help with my tie.
Higgins: Magnum, you borrowed my tie?
Magnum: I thought it went with my outfit.
Higgins: None of my things go with yours. And for Pete's sake, a grown man who can't tie his own tie?
Magnum: I want a Double Windsor.
Higgins: Alright. Go over, and over again, and over again.
Magnum: [runs out the door] Thanks Higgins.
[Higgins puts on the beanie]
Magnum: [Sticks head in the doorway and laughs]

Magnum: Did T.C. show up?
Higgins: No. But Rick called. I do wish you'd get an answering service.
Magnum: I have one.
Higgins: My point exactly.

Magnum: Higgins, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that you can tell Robin that he doesn't already know - that we havn't laughed about together.
Higgins: The potato chip heiress from Buffalo who filled the tidal pool with...
Magnum: A little misunderstanding, Higgins. After it was drained...
Higgins: And then there is the Romanian mime troop who...
Magnum: You...You're not going to bring that up. I mean, you were there when the paramedics arrived! You know!
Higgins: I will take note of the panic in your voice and those guilt-crazed eyes as a scent to my favor, albeit with the slightest reluctance.
Magnum: Wait a minute! This isn't a favor, this is extortion and blackmail!

Magnum: I'm a peach of a detective.
T.C.: [To Rick]I can't believe you bought that. He ain't that good.

Magnum: Make me a list of the favors I owe you and I'll take care of them.
Higgins: I already have a list. What I don't have is a reason to believe you.

Magnum: You had breakfast?
Bridget: Are you kidding? I haven't eaten anything decent since Cleveland. Except maybe a moldy bear claw.
Magnum: I think I can do better than that.
Higgins: Don't bet on it.

Magnum:(Discovering Higgins' old war nickname) Punky?!

Rick: [after being dazzled by Bridget's skills with gambling odds] I think I'm in love.
T.C.: [checks watch] Ten minutes to ten, I wondered how long it'd take you to fall in love today.

Rick: I saw in this movie once where they bumped off this guy for his money. They took a lawn mower, an electric lawn mower, and threw it right in the bathtub. Bzzzzzzzzzz! It fried him just like that! You better take showers.
Magnum: Guys!
T.C.: Come to think of it, you better stay out of the kitchen too, all sorts of things can happen in there - Gas, poisoning, garbage disposals.
Magnum: Garbage disposals??

T.C.: Somewhere, somehow, I'm going to get you for this. Higgie baby, I can't wait until this is over.
Higgins: T.C., baby, it ain't over until it's over.

[Magnum is "playing" the saxophone]
Higgins: Magnum....Magnum!.....Magnum!!
Magnum: Hi, Higgins!
Higgins: How fiendishly deceptive of you Magnum. I could have sworn I was hearing the emasculation of a large rodent. To my great surprise, I see the sounds are emanating from what I thought was a harmless musical instrument.
Magnum: Cute Higgins, real cute. [Magnum resumes playing saxophone badly]
Higgins: Why Magnum? Why do this terrible thing?
Magnum: Higgins, I'll have you know I used to be very good. I was the second best sax player in my High School band.
Higgins: Well how many sax players were there?!
Magnum: ...Anyway, I just saw this in a pawn shop window and thought I'd like to try and get my chops back.
Higgins: May I suggest that your "chops" are irretrievable.