Life on Mars quotes
179 total quotes[After Gene pummels and hurls a journalist aside]
Sam Tyler: Do you keep a journalist chained in your basement for random beatings, Guv?
Sam Tyler: Do you keep a journalist chained in your basement for random beatings, Guv?
[Before an undercover sting operation, Annie is equipped with a gun]
Annie Cartwright: I haven't received any firearms training. That's not right...
Gene Hunt: [Exasperated] Y'see, this is why birds and CID don't mix. Give a bloke a gun, it's a dream come true. Give a girl one, and she moans it doesn't go with her dress! Now start behaving like a detective and show some balls.
Annie Cartwright: Thanks for being so sympathetic, sir. Let's hope you don't end up in my firing line. [Annie storms out]
Gene Hunt: [Slightly alarmed] Did she just threaten to shoot me?!
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: Got a very bright future ahead of her, that lass.
Annie Cartwright: I haven't received any firearms training. That's not right...
Gene Hunt: [Exasperated] Y'see, this is why birds and CID don't mix. Give a bloke a gun, it's a dream come true. Give a girl one, and she moans it doesn't go with her dress! Now start behaving like a detective and show some balls.
Annie Cartwright: Thanks for being so sympathetic, sir. Let's hope you don't end up in my firing line. [Annie storms out]
Gene Hunt: [Slightly alarmed] Did she just threaten to shoot me?!
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: Got a very bright future ahead of her, that lass.
[Breaking into Twilling's car showroom]
Chris Skelton: It's freezing out here.
Gene Hunt: I don't like this. Gene Hunt smashes doors down, he does not pick girlie locks!
Sam Tyler: We can't just pull him in. He's too clever for that. At least this way we get hard evidence.
Gene Hunt: I'm gonna be the laughing stock of the Lancashire Constabulary Dinner and Dance, me.
Sam Tyler: Believe it or not, guv, one day soon, something like this will bring down Richard Nixon.
Gene Hunt: Hard to believe.
[Chris Skelton is playing around with his flashlight]
Chris Skelton: It's freezing out here.
Gene Hunt: I don't like this. Gene Hunt smashes doors down, he does not pick girlie locks!
Sam Tyler: We can't just pull him in. He's too clever for that. At least this way we get hard evidence.
Gene Hunt: I'm gonna be the laughing stock of the Lancashire Constabulary Dinner and Dance, me.
Sam Tyler: Believe it or not, guv, one day soon, something like this will bring down Richard Nixon.
Gene Hunt: Hard to believe.
[Chris Skelton is playing around with his flashlight]
[Gene has locked Sam in the boot of his car after Sam has investigated alleged corruption charges against Gene's mentor]
Gene Hunt: The rules go like this; you're my officer, you do as I say!
Sam Tyler: I was following my instincts...
Gene Hunt: Well, I should charge your instincts with wasting police time!
Gene Hunt: The rules go like this; you're my officer, you do as I say!
Sam Tyler: I was following my instincts...
Gene Hunt: Well, I should charge your instincts with wasting police time!
[Having pulled in a suspect in the kidnapping]
Gene Hunt: Where you stashed 'em, Mitchey boy!?
Mitch Bathurst: Up my arse, copper!
Gene Hunt: Do you wanna us to check!?
Gene Hunt: Where you stashed 'em, Mitchey boy!?
Mitch Bathurst: Up my arse, copper!
Gene Hunt: Do you wanna us to check!?
[Ordering the hunt for a murderer]
Gene Hunt: This is my city. And it will be a safe place for my wife and my mum to walk around in. Is that understood?
Detectives: Yes, guv.
Gene Hunt: [Sternly] Right. Find out who the dead woman was, find out who killed her. Do it now.
[He checks his watch]
Gene Hunt: Hold up, hold up. Do it tomorrow morning, first thing. [Brightly] Beer o'clock, gentlemen.
Gene Hunt: This is my city. And it will be a safe place for my wife and my mum to walk around in. Is that understood?
Detectives: Yes, guv.
Gene Hunt: [Sternly] Right. Find out who the dead woman was, find out who killed her. Do it now.
[He checks his watch]
Gene Hunt: Hold up, hold up. Do it tomorrow morning, first thing. [Brightly] Beer o'clock, gentlemen.
[Regarding Gene Hunt]
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: You're a lucky man, Tyler. You've got the best here.
Sam Tyler: [Heavy sarcasm] I weep with happiness every morning, sir.
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: You're a lucky man, Tyler. You've got the best here.
Sam Tyler: [Heavy sarcasm] I weep with happiness every morning, sir.
[Sam and Gene are having another discussion about police work]
Sam Tyler: Our definitions of policing may vary marginally.
Gene Hunt: And yours is?
Sam Tyler: Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law.
Gene Hunt: Training college?
Sam Tyler: Robocop. [Pause] You can't uphold the law by breaking it.
Sam Tyler: Our definitions of policing may vary marginally.
Gene Hunt: And yours is?
Sam Tyler: Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law.
Gene Hunt: Training college?
Sam Tyler: Robocop. [Pause] You can't uphold the law by breaking it.
[Sam comes back from the deeper coma]
Doctor: 10 mils of adrenaline did the trick.
Sam Tyler: 10 mils. The perfect 10!
Doctor: 10 mils of adrenaline did the trick.
Sam Tyler: 10 mils. The perfect 10!
[Sam has just returned to 1973 and to where the shoot-out is]
Gene Hunt: Tyler!
Annie Cartwright: Sam! Help us!
[Sam shoots the last remaining gang member who is about to shoot Gene again]
Gene Hunt: Now that's just showing off.
Sam Tyler: [To Annie] Are you alright?
[She nods]
Sam Tyler: I told you I'd never leave you.
Gene Hunt: Well, good for us!
[Sam tries to help Gene to stand up]
Gene Hunt: Get off. I'm not a fairy!
Gene Hunt: Tyler!
Annie Cartwright: Sam! Help us!
[Sam shoots the last remaining gang member who is about to shoot Gene again]
Gene Hunt: Now that's just showing off.
Sam Tyler: [To Annie] Are you alright?
[She nods]
Sam Tyler: I told you I'd never leave you.
Gene Hunt: Well, good for us!
[Sam tries to help Gene to stand up]
Gene Hunt: Get off. I'm not a fairy!
[Sam has just revealed that he is betraying Gene]
Annie Cartwright: That's why you're leaving, isn't it? I bet sometimes you can't look at yourself in the mirror.
[Starts to cry]
Annie Cartwright: I listened to all your problems and worries, and I can't believe I felt sorry for you.
[Slaps Sam]
Annie Cartwright: Hurts, doesn't it? That's because it's real!
Annie Cartwright: That's why you're leaving, isn't it? I bet sometimes you can't look at yourself in the mirror.
[Starts to cry]
Annie Cartwright: I listened to all your problems and worries, and I can't believe I felt sorry for you.
[Slaps Sam]
Annie Cartwright: Hurts, doesn't it? That's because it's real!
[Sam hears Jimmy Savile on the radio]
Jimmy Savile: Wow! But the big news is they've found the cause of Sam's prolonged coma! Ooh! Now then guys and gals, there's a tumour in the temporal lobe of Sam's brain, they thought it was a clot but, hows about that, a clot it is not! Wow! It may be operable, double wow!...Our very good friends here at the hopsital say they can cut out the tumour.
Sam Tyler: Cut it out! Cut it out! Fix it for me, Jim!.
Jimmy Savile: Wow! But the big news is they've found the cause of Sam's prolonged coma! Ooh! Now then guys and gals, there's a tumour in the temporal lobe of Sam's brain, they thought it was a clot but, hows about that, a clot it is not! Wow! It may be operable, double wow!...Our very good friends here at the hopsital say they can cut out the tumour.
Sam Tyler: Cut it out! Cut it out! Fix it for me, Jim!.
[Sam is at the hospital after checking on Layla who is pregnant with Maya, when he sees Annie walking towards him]
Annie Cartwright: The guv wanted me to see if you're doing anything stupid. You're not are you?
Sam Tyler: No.
Annie Cartwright: Right, that's me off duty then.
[She turns and starts walking away]
Sam Tyler: Annie, I just wanted you to know, the business with...
Annie Cartwright: ...Layla.
Sam Tyler: Yeah, it's not what you think.
Annie Cartwright: Y'know it's none of my business.
Sam Tyler: It was just unfinished business and now it's finished. That's all. [He smiles and kisses Annie on the cheek]
Annie Cartwright: Bye, Sam. [She turns to leave but then turns back] And get some sleep. [She leaves]
Annie Cartwright: The guv wanted me to see if you're doing anything stupid. You're not are you?
Sam Tyler: No.
Annie Cartwright: Right, that's me off duty then.
[She turns and starts walking away]
Sam Tyler: Annie, I just wanted you to know, the business with...
Annie Cartwright: ...Layla.
Sam Tyler: Yeah, it's not what you think.
Annie Cartwright: Y'know it's none of my business.
Sam Tyler: It was just unfinished business and now it's finished. That's all. [He smiles and kisses Annie on the cheek]
Annie Cartwright: Bye, Sam. [She turns to leave but then turns back] And get some sleep. [She leaves]
[Sam's back in present day and is in a meeting]
Man: Sam look at your hand.
Sam Tyler: [He looks at his thumb which is bleeding from an accidental cut] I can't feel anything. [ Life on Mars? starts playing in the background]
Man: What?
Sam Tyler: Excuse me. [He leaves]
Man: Sam look at your hand.
Sam Tyler: [He looks at his thumb which is bleeding from an accidental cut] I can't feel anything. [ Life on Mars? starts playing in the background]
Man: What?
Sam Tyler: Excuse me. [He leaves]
[The show opens with the introduction to Camberwick Green]
Camberwick Green Narrator: This is a box. A magical box, playing a magical tune. But inside this box, there lies a surprise. Do you know who's in it today? [A toy version of Sam appears] It's Sam Tyler! Hello, Sam.
[Toy Sam waves]
Camberwick Green Narrator: How are you today?
[Toy Sam puts his head in his hands]
Camberwick Green Narrator: Oh dear. Not very happy. Is it Gene Hunt?
[Toy Sam nods]
Camberwick Green Narrator: Is he kicking in a nonce?
[Toy Sam points - cut to a toy version of Gene Hunt, beating up another toy in a dark alley. Toy Gene and the nonce wave to the camera, then Gene hits the other toy repeatedly with a dustbin lid]
Camberwick Green Narrator: This is a box. A magical box, playing a magical tune. But inside this box, there lies a surprise. Do you know who's in it today? [A toy version of Sam appears] It's Sam Tyler! Hello, Sam.
[Toy Sam waves]
Camberwick Green Narrator: How are you today?
[Toy Sam puts his head in his hands]
Camberwick Green Narrator: Oh dear. Not very happy. Is it Gene Hunt?
[Toy Sam nods]
Camberwick Green Narrator: Is he kicking in a nonce?
[Toy Sam points - cut to a toy version of Gene Hunt, beating up another toy in a dark alley. Toy Gene and the nonce wave to the camera, then Gene hits the other toy repeatedly with a dustbin lid]