Father Ted: Father Jack, where did you get the air freshener?
Father Jack: CAR!
Father Ted: Oh, god...
Father Jack: Drived the car!
Father Ted: Not the new car! Tell me the truth, Father, have you been drinking?
Father Jack: (looks at the half-empty bottle of whisky he's holding and thinks for a moment) YES!
Father Ted: Tell me from the beginning. Where did you drive?
Father Jack: Shops! Drink! Corner! Shops! Got out! TRUCK!
Father Ted: A truck?!
Father Jack: (smashing two empty cans of lager together) TWO trucks!!!
Father Ted: Let's take a look. See if there's anything we can salvage.

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