Dr. Sid Hammerback: [Sid and Peyton are flipping a coin to see who gets to do the autopsy on Pauline Rayburn. Peyton wins] It's heads. She's yours. Can--can I at least watch? This is one of the most well-preserved mummies I've seen in my many years as a pathologist. The environmental conditions of temperature and humidity and ventalation must have been just, you know, optimum. You can only compare it to the best sex you've ever had, reaching climax at precisely that--that...
Dr. Peyton Driscoll: [Interrupting] All right, Sid, you can help. But I get to print her.
Dr. Sid Hammerback: Fair enough.

Dr. Sid Hammerback: Mac, been meaning to ask. I'd like you to consider coming to our house for Thanksgiving this year. My daughter's coming in, cousins from Philly. We do a really nice job. I use a Collins scalpel to carve the bird, it gets the meat paper-thin.
Detective Mac Taylor: I appreciate the offer, Sid.
Dr. Sid Hammerback: Now you can't spend the holidays alone again. I'll drag you if I have to.
Detective Mac Taylor: You're gonna have to add some meat to that skinny frame of yours if you're gonna be making threats, and I was about to say I do have plans this year, thank you.
Dr. Sid Hammerback: [pause] Oh. I'm intrigued.

Dr. Sid Hammerback: [Pulling something out from inside the victim's neck] A prize in every box.

Flack: (concerning the beheaded victim found hanging from the ceiling fan) Britney and Kevin came to do the nasty, instead they found the nasty. Decapitated, no sign of the head.

Flack: I'm not used to lookin' down on the barrel of an AK-47, but I'll be all right.

Flack: They picked today for the stunt cos the conditions were perfect.
Danny: Yeah well there was a slight change in forecast, to cloudy, with a chance of birds.

Flack: Well, Noah was taking these people for a ride, but it wasn't on the Ark. His flock all tested negative for GSR, and they've asked me if they can get back on the good ship looney- tunes before Sunday, because that's when the world's ending. I told them they could re-board when the crime scene's clear, but what I really want to do is throw them all in the shower and then a rubber room.
Mac: They're not crazy.

Frat Guy: It's called "Edward-40-Hands", you know, like "Edward Scissor Hands", but with 40s.
Det. Don Flack: Get out of here.
Frat Guy: No serious, that's what they call it.
Det. Don Flack: No, I mean get out of my face, I never want to see you again, go!
Frat Guy: Whatever, bro.

Gina Mitchum: [in sign language] You helped me. And I wish I could help you now.
Detective Mac Taylor: [normally] What... makes you think something's wrong?
Gina Mitchum: [in sign language] I speak with my hands. You speak with your eyes.

Gina Mitchum: (to Mac) I speak with my hands. You speak with your eyes.

Grace Thomason: You know, I read somewhere that you shot your boyfriend. Three times in the chest, point blank.
Stella Bonasera: That was self-defense.
Grace Thomason: Oh, yeah?
Stella Bonasera: I was a victim, you are a cold-blooded murderer.

Hammerback: Did you know that, when Egyptian Princesses died, they were not embalmed for several days to prevent necrophilia. The natural degradation of the body made it unappealing even to the most deviant of men. Why someone would want to have sex with a lifeless body in the first place...
Hawkes: Sid?
Hammerback: I mean it's counterintuitive...
Hawkes: Sid? Sid!
Hammerback: What?
Hawkes: You're going to that creepy place again.

Hawkes: This wasn't about Sweet 16, this was about outdoing the Jones'.

Hawkes: You want Gina to participate in the reconstruction? That would mean taking her home, back to the crime scene.
Mac: Gina heard every detail of that crime scene through her body, which makes her our best witness.

J.J. Huntsville: She was mostly in the shadows. She had great legs though. And the outfit she had on could fit in a martini glass.